Tila Tequila Eats Puppies and Watches Kittens Cry

To the Picture to my Right: Why are you smiling?! I'm not! It's because of your show that I have become an embittered blogger with a heart of fire and a strong hatred of MTV. If this is the Zeitgeist, then I want out.

Aw...Now that was a little too harsh, wasn't it?

Um...No.

As you may already know, I have a severe distaste for a certain show called "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila" A show which is apparently a show so important that they(being MTV) decided to give the starletard the butt end of her fifteen minutes of fame. I think she's on 13:47, so we're close!

Now, it might be semi immature to accuse Miss Tequila of such heinous crimes. I'm doing the world a favor in hopes that they might be swayed by my accusations, which I'm positive are true. But that's just me. However, I will say that while she may not necessarily eat puppies, I'm certain that she enjoys watching her contestants eat goat(?) testicles. Didn't the Wicked Witch of the West do that to the Scarecrow before becoming a news anchor for Fox?* Oh well, I'm sure it's in there somewhere.

I'm guessing that you, the reader of my site, would rather see me review her heinous abortion of a program than simply tell you not to watch it, and instead watch something like this family movie from France or something a bit lighter like this cute little gem with an animated rabbit. I'm pretty sure you'd rather watch a movie that describes the pain you get from watching a small portion of an episode of Shot at Love.

Now, on to the review:

As you already have guessed, A Shot at Love is a very, very bad show. Not only is it very bad, but because of this putrid waste of air wave space as well as other shows that spawned this show from the back of the middle school x number of years ago, there are only more and more bad shows being produced.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you:

Celebracadabra: A show about celebrities who team up with magicians! Hey, since when did Hal Sparks do anything else besides make out with Strawberry Shortcake?

Farmer Wants a Wife: Where, believe it or not, a farmer wants a wife. I. Kid. You. Not.

I Know My Kid's A Star: Ten teams of parents and children go at it Lohan family style to prove that their kid is SO much better than your kid. So suck it.

Secret Talents of the Stars: A show canceled after one episode which featured secret talents of the stars! Because my life would not be complete unless I saw Ben Stein do the jitterbug. See, if the title tells me all the show is about, I'll know how to avoid it. However, I'm sure episode two showed how far Pamela Anderson could stick a banana down her throat! LOL!!!!1 It's the 90's all over again!!!1

Man, sometimes, I wish I was joking. The writers return only to find that Reality TV has worsened, that people are actually making these shows and some folks are actually watching them. Which means only one thing: Despite the lack of decency MTV had during the first season, they decided to take another shot at love, and it seems to have worked.

Yeah, from the bit I saw, the people were arguing about something, probably involving mud wrestling or some incredibly hot and heavy sport. Some guy got injured, proving that love hurts! Tila made out with a female contestant while the camera man had a mini vacation. But this season, Tila has raised the bar, she's making sure that she is able to find that one person who she can fall in love with. Wasn't that her mission last season???

On a side note: At my friend's school, a student was accepted to be on Rock of Love 3. Which totally blew my mind, seeing as Season 2 had only just started. Would that mean that I'm right all along? That Reality TV is a sordid and horrific zone full of torment and fear?!

Well, except for Top Chef. Now that there is a quality show.

P.S This fall, more Pushing Daisies! So after weeping in a corner for a year, you can rejoice and sing for the return of the greatest thing to happen to pie since Waitress!!

*Disclaimer, I'm sorry Ann Coulter. I know it wasn't goat testicles you tried to feed the Scarecrow. You were just going all Ellen Page in Hard Candy on John Edwards. Can you still sleep at night? If so, you have no heart.