Making Love in 2003

A Book is the Only Mortality...

2008-11-19T14:08:00.005-06:00

The Reader
By Bernhard Schlink
Year: 1997

Don't let the Oprah's Book Club sticker fool you, luckily this is not a book whose sole audience is people who are willing to read simply because a celebrity tells them to. No, Lucky for both the reader of this novel and for the reviewer, judging a book solely by the fact that a talk show host picked this particular book as an entry into her 'collection' is a crime. The Reader is a book that begs to be read and will no doubt provoke discussion once it has been read.

The book starts sometime after WWII in Germany and involves a young man by the name of Michael Berg. Michael is fifteen at the beginning of the story and serves as our narrator. From literally the first sentence, we learn that Michael at fifteen gets hepatitis and falls ill under it. On the way to school one day, he gets sick and is aided by an anonymous woman, some stranger who appears at the nick of time to clean up and mend him afterwards. However, to Michael, seeing her only that one time without thanking her is a crime. And so he goes to her house in lieu of attending school to see this mysterious woman. It is not long before Michael and the woman, who we learn is named Hanna Schmitz, embark of a passionate and heated relationship. While sex is a key part in their relationship, time and time again Hanna will ask Michael to read to her out loud, something that though I won't spoil proves to be a key part in the second and third acts of the book.

However, like the seasons, their relationship ends shortly with Hanna vanishing one day, where she goes or where she is heading is unclear to Michael, but it is only time before we learn where. A court perhaps. For we shortly thereafter learn that Hanna during the war worked with the SS and was responsible for the death of hundreds of women and children.

The second part of the novel details the trial and Michael realizing who Hanna truly was. What could prove to be a stale courtroom drama is a morality tale at the core. Michael only knows this woman from their love affair and it is a while before he can fully wrap his head around what she has done. Again, not to give anything away, but one may wonder if he ever does. During this trial, Michael is confused as to why Hanna, who he knew as a brazen and spirited woman falls upon deaf ears when attending the trial. Maybe she is hiding something, something that she is not only ashamed of but may be crucial.

Michael spends the remainder of the book picking up the pieces to his life and to the life he and Hanna had. He takes journeys to come to terms with everything he has spent the book dealing with. He wants to hate her for being such a violent and cold criminal, but he cannot. While what they did was illegal, she being more than twice his age, to the protagonist, it was not a crime, it was passionate love. Whether we agree with him or not is all up to our own personal beliefs.

Though being short on length, The Reader is a very dense book. The language may seem simple, but it is straightforward and truly captivating. There is so much going on in this book that a mere synopsis will do the novel no justice. Simply sitting down and reading is the best way to handle the book, to let it sink in and take control of you. I personally found it to be a magnificent book, one that challenged the reader with not only the core story, loved ones who hurt us, but also the morals and themes it brings up. Atonement, redemption, forgiveness, right, wrong, love and death. Threading everything together and creating a delicate and powerful novel, Schlink proves that even romantic tales can have deeper meanings. That books can truly make you feel for its characters and that you yourself can get inside the heads of its main players. While many have this talent, so few can truly let the story envelop and raise morals. Once you turn the final page, you will be satisfied.

*A note to people intrigued by this book: Ignore Amazon! It praises the book to the point where the novel's twist if you will is exposed. It is key to let the book speak for itself.

Well, I'll step of my soapbox and let the novel to the talking.

Anatomy of a Trailer: Rachel Getting Married, Blogger Annoyed by Grammatical Error

2008-08-15T22:48:00.002-05:00

Well, as you know by know, I started a second site, of which so far looks good. So I'm happy to report that. But until I find anything compelling to write about, I figured, why not take apart a movie trailer? However, do know that judging by who is in the movie, there is a slight chance I will turn this into a bitter rant.

The film in question is the new Anne Hathaway project, Rachel Getting Married. Off the bat there is a big problem. "Hey!" You might say, "Jonathan Demme is directing it! It's gonna be amazing!" Remember, for every Silence of the Lambs, there is also The Truth About Charlie.

And let me just say this off the bat, I hate Anne Hathaway. Everything she has been in, she has given a terrible performance. Get Smart was the worst movie of 2008 I've seen, and knowing that Anne Hathaway was in it ruined the film even more. Steve Carell, who can be funny, wasn't able to carry that movie. It was a failed idea, and a painfully unfunny one as well.

Aside from Get Smart, Anne Hathaway has been in films such as The Devil Wears Prada(Terrible!), Brokeback Mountain(Horrendous!) and lest we forget those Princess Diaries movies(I'm having a Vietnam flashback!) Yes, I will take my hate for Brokeback Mountain to the grave. Not that it wasn't a good movie, it was just immensely overrated and somewhat insulting. But bad movie aside, all Anne Hathaway really did was provide...well, nothing. She was so wooden you could have made a table out of her. Prada was just a train wreck, and it had Meryl Streep! Not just any ordinary schmo, Meryl "Nominated 14 Times for an Oscar and won twice!" Streep. And honestly, how the hell does Anne Hathaway fit the bill for fat and dowdy? She picked up every trick in the stringy hair book, I'll give her that, but please, the next person who tells me she's a magnificent actress I might just flip.

Oh yeah, there's a trailer somewhere here.

As you can imagine, I will avoid seeing this film at many costs. Everything from the title, to it's star to the fact that the trailer fits so many trailer molds and tells so much it's not even funny. I mean, Rachel Getting Married?! Who came up with this, a two year old? It's a fragment, and frankly, it's pissing me off.

So yeah, it tries to be quirky (As many indie films do) but it tries and fails so much. We are introduced to the black sheep of the family, Kym(Anne Hathaway, the polar opposite of bad sheep) and how she's going to her sister's wedding. She's been in rehab and is returning for the weekend to be with her family. Awwww....

Yeah, that's the whole premise. It sounds like Pieces of April aged ten years and put into reverse. Hey, wasn't their another movie about dysfunctional sibling relationships between sisters last year involving marriage? Margot at the Wedding ring a bell?

What Demme appears to be aiming to do is create a Hannah and Her Sisters for the new millennium. A family comedy/drama about the people close to us. Except Hannah is good. Like, amazingly good. In fact, one of my favorite movies good. Though trying to emulate such a movie is a giant stretch, you get my drift.

Also, the director seems to want to ward off audiences by showing as much as he bloody well can in two and a half minutes. Demme wants to start out funny, then be as inspirational as a warm hug. He transplants the joy and well being of a wedding into this movie and tries to relate to the audience by showing that Hollywood is just like you. We too have siblings we care for but feel have wasted their life, but in the end, we love them.

To Sum it Up: Rachel Getting Married looks like the kind of movie that will have people going, "Well, it's cute I guess." After seeing this trailer, it leaves barely anything for the viewer to imagine. But if you really need to see this movie, it'll probably not lose any of it's value on DVD. It's cheaper, and you can pause it when you realize it's bad.

All I know is that if I had Anne Hathaway as a sibling, she sure as hell best be staying away from my wedding.

Trailer Link: Rachel Getting Married

Little Brains, Little Talent: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt

2008-07-13T19:43:00.003-05:00

To my Loyal Reader(s):
I apologize for my lack of posting for about a month, I wish I could give you a good excuse for my absence for a month, but alas, I can't. I've had plenty of things on my plate, I've been trying to write a book, which means I started writing, but had another brain fart and I'm working on something completely different. So, to make it up to you, I decided to start a series of posts about people who I particularly despise. Now, for a first candidate, you might have expected me to take on a particular bisexual leprechaun that has no talent, but I've gone on over kill and one more post about her, and it's Deer Hunter for me. No, I've got someone a whole lot worse to rag on. One friend of mine in the blogosphere, Stacey over at Webster's is my Bitch has countlessly talked about who I consider the Britney and Justin of the new millennium.

Ladies and Gentlemen, please turn your attention over to Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, the reason why everyone hates America.

To those who don't go on the computer or watch TV, there is a show called The Hills, which I'm not 100% sure what its about other then the fact that the people on that show are vain and shallow and more popular then you are. And on this waste of airspace, we watch the lives of two especially annoying and shallow people, Heidi and Spencer, and observe them in their natural habitat. Judging by what I've seen on the internet, this dream couple have got to be the most boring people on the face of the planet. Seriously folks, the only people who really care about the antics of these two would be themselves. Heidi and Spencer, or Speidi as they're referred to, must think that the people watching their show care about them and worship, which is true for a large part. But for the other people in the universe who don't give two thoughts about them, it's better we ignore them than fuel the beast.

Remember when our celebrities did something? When Princess Di pitched in to help the world while Bono went to third world countries to fix the lives of the people who lived in suffering everyday? Now we have famous people who don't have to do anything to attract a crowd. Simply because they star on a third-rate TV show and they are young and beautiful, they must be the center of attention. Have you heard these two morons speak? Listening to Spencer Pratt talk about Heidi and his 'career' is almost like listening to a sea shell, we think we hear something, but it's just so self contained that we regard it for the wind. And Heidi, man oh man, how in the hell does this attention whore get so much god damn work?! Already she has a TV show, a Clothing line, and a recording deal. What next, her own amusement park where skinny bimbos yap about things that nobody in their right mind cares about.

Though the world might absolutely despise this couple, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. While proving themselves useless, Speidi is able to make a career out of something unintentional, their stupidity. Just hearing them talk you'd expect the wind up key in their backs to stop twirling and watch them collapse like wind up dolls. You only have to watch this brief clip to get a clear picture on how much of a douche Spencer Pratt is. How pathetic do you have to be that people pay you to go club? Holy mackerel, the guy is such a tool. And Heidi, please. stop. Does not want... It's no surprise that the lost soul is an avid McCain supporter.

When I look at such wastes of human life, I can only be reminded of Britney and Kevin, the football QB/cheerleader couple on the much loved on my behalf, under appreciated animated show, Daria. This couple is the butt of every joke. They are incredibly moronic kids who need to get their own lives, they don't do any of their homework, they can't think for more then a second. Hell, Britney in one episode thought that Henry David Thoreau was Henry Fonda and he went to Walden Pond to reconcile with his daughter, Jane Fonda. Coincidentally, the two are named Britney and Kevin, a dark foreboding and an ultimately true to life portrayal of the young and the brainless.

So Speidi, if you're reading this(If you can), don't take this as any hard feelings. Just go back to your uninteresting lives and return to your perfect little world where you belong. And don't come back.

The Final Supper

2008-06-12T10:44:00.003-05:00

Top Chef
Wednesdays at 10:00
Channel: Bravo

Time and time again, I have talked about reality TV, though it has been with harsh words and an angry and embittered look at television as a whole. And I don't blame myself one bit. If you just look at what it is that people watch, you too will find reason to bitch about all things trivial and intoxicating. Because we all know unless the dinosaur also known as Dina Lohan doesn't have her own show, then god dammit, the world is at rest.

So for a slight change, instead of telling you not to watch on TV(A list which goes on for miles), I figured in honor of last night's finale, I would talk food with you and do a small retrospect on my form of Crack TV, Top Chef.

As far as reality TV, there is few good shows to watch, so when a vicious critic like myself finds a good competitive reality show, a diamond in the rough if you will, there is cause for celebration. As it may seem, Top Chef may look like the little sister of the ever so popular and fierce, Project Runway. There's also Project Runway's dumpster baby, Top Design, that was shown to the public, but the public cowered in fear like Ann Coulter's children do whenever she tries to read them a bedtime story. Unlike Runway, Chef does not maintain the same form of trashiness and mayhem that its big sister craves like starletards crave their daddy's AM-EX Gold card. Sure, there are some people who you would happily bludgeon with a ten pound frozen steak or boil in their own pudding, but the audience is mainly drawn to the power and the effort that goes into every meal served. Not to say that Runway is just like eating chocolate cake, but on Chef, the contestants throughout the season are able to grow close to their teammates, it's not all about the individual all the time, it's not about who is mean and cranky, its about who has what it takes to create a meal that is both inventive and full of effort and talent. Which brings me to the center of my retrospect, how even the best can mess up, and it will cost them the title.

To anyone who has been watching this past season, you may recall the many chefs that stepped into the kitchen, hot headed but talented Dale, super smart and super genius Richard, Ms. calm, collective and totally talented Stephanie, douchebag white boy(s) Spike and Andrew(Wait, which one was which again?), the list goes on. Each person had their positive and negative aspects, each person seemed full of ideas. And then there are those who got by on one thing along.

Sheer dumb luck.

I say sheer dumb luck because as the viewers saw, it wasn't Dale, or Antonia, hell, even Jennifer, though not the best she wasn't only in it for the fame. This season did not have a Marcel or a Christian Sirrano or Tila Tequila, it had one who made it as far as she did simply because every time she screwed up, someone else did even worse.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Lisa Fernandes.

My problem with Lisa was the fact that she outlasted so many people who were better then she herself was, and she didn't always seem to try, nor did she get her act together. She vowed not to screw up once she made it to Puerto Rico, and upon arrival, did very bad. But like in all cases, she did bad, person B did even worse. Though she outlasted the majority of the people in the competition, it was the fact that she was so snarky that broke the camel's back.

See, with Lisa, you disliked her, you thought she was unpleasant to be around, and she wasn't very compelling, you didn't tune in simply to see what she'll do next. Marcel was entertaining because while he was good, everyone hated him to no extent. He made the show addictive, his Eddie Munster hairstyle amazed the laws of gravity(seriously, it stayed perfect!), and don't even mention the foam. He was an asshole, but an asshole who was good at what he was doing, which was in the end, cooking. And Lisa didn't even have that.

Despite all other babble from here and there, the sure fire winner of Top Chef, the one who everyone had their Vegas bets in the pot for was Richard. So when Richard failed because of both his strength and his weakness, I, like many must have been shocked to see that in the end, all of that knowledge, his many new ideas were what cost him the title. And that alone must burn.

Season 4's dark horse winner, Stephanie was just a home girl from Chicago itself who refused to let anxiety get to her head and proved that it's not just the men who can cook. Though I assume she'd be very angry if a misogynist asked her to stay in the kitchen and make him a sandwich. With Stephanie, she was not only a good cook, but of all of the people, she seemed the most like a person I would be friends with or would trust with a knife and a cutting board.

Another positive thing that I especially liked was the friendships that were blossomed from the show. And I know how corny that sounds, but during the course of the show, there was a power team, Richard, Stephanie, Andrew and Antonia. The fab four who became the power trio once their weakest and worst member Andrew was kicked off. These three were partners for two competitions, one being Wedding Wars and the other, Restaurant Wars. Like a group of old friends, they made arguably the best food there. Each person was original, they equally contributed and made great meals, so that itself kept my interest. Such a contrast to watch the other players struggle and fight and whine until they were in the bottom.

Like in the finale, there were plenty of shocks that happened throughout the show. First being Dale's early departure. Here was a talented chef who proved he could cook. I mean yeah, he had a bad day, but compared to Lisa, the negative Nancy she was, he had skills. Two of the season's strongest in the end both lost, which is both a shame and a surprise. However, the uncertainty was very intriguing to watch. Until Season Five, I'll be licking my fingers and salivating for more.

Experiment in Terror

2008-06-10T18:25:00.002-05:00

The Stangers
Year: 2008
Directed by: Bryan Bertino
Starring: Liv Tyler, Scott Speedman
and Gemma Ward

Well, I've got to hand it to you, I was wrong for once about a movie. Actually, I have been wrong about many movies, but I haven't blogged about any of them, now have I?

So, I bet you're wondering how Mr. Rock Hard Horror Movie Lover felt about the latest in "Inspired by True Events" movie, which in my book is an immediate kiss of death. Not only is it a kiss of death, but it makes the film seem kind of pathetic. Sure, adding a tagline that claims the events depicted in the film are based on real events, so the added sense of reality should cause me to quiver in my boots. However, I am one who thinks that a movie can be scary on its own without having to try and make it look like a true story. And come on, they usually don't even mean it when they say it was inspired by true events. Like I mentioned in my earlier post, Texas Chainsaw Massacre was a huge fabrication, a hyperbole covered in gore and guts that took the story of Ed Gein and ran with it. Gein however is not present here in this film. No, the killers here don't come with catch phrases, they don't mutilate any fingers or tear out any eye sockets. While they may have masks, they don't terrorize horny teenagers at summer camp. The terror is at your house. Late at night, when all seems normal and safe.

How wrong we are.

Compared to what my original impression was once I saw the trailer, how I viewed the film changed dramatically. Upon seeing the trailer for The Strangers, I began to break out in a fit of giggles. A film where two gorgeous people are chased around their house by maniacs? How original! But this is so much more than just a throwaway horror flick with skin and blood to spare. The blood is minimal, the sex is interrupted and from what I saw, NO misogyny, so forget any cameo from Paris Hilton.

I saw The Strangers at a daytime performance, 10:45 to be exact. So I was the only person in the theater. Only time would tell how scary, creepy and just downright frightening The Strangers ended up being.

Like many horror films, The Strangers takes place in the middle of the night. We first see a young couple, Kristen and James(Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman), and from the looks of it, their love life is on the rocks. Before we are subjected to the thrills and chills The Strangers beholds, like in any good movie, we need to examine the lives of our characters before we get in over our heads.

Using a somewhat voyeuristic eye as well as an unsteady camera that looks at our characters, as well as minimal everything. There is some music, but the music is only prevalent when the strangers in our film turn on a record to scare not only the characters, but the audience. And trust me, I am a die-hard horror film addict, but I don't get scared easily, unless it's really scary. And recently, my scare odometer has been very low. Sitting in the dark, alone, I realized how no matter where we were, being alone can be the scariest time of all. Because though we may ignore it, someone is there, watching and waiting for you to notice.

To call The Strangers "a jump out of your seat nail biter!" does the film no justice, I jumped many, many times through out the movie. I gasped, my heart raced, I didn't want the two protagonists to suffer the impending fate that they had led themselves into. I would call this movie one of the smartest movies in the horror genre in recent years. It's more than fear, it's the frightening notion that strangers can and will do what they want with you, and that we can't always be sure who is around the corner.

Oh the Horror, the Horror!

2008-05-23T20:56:00.004-05:00

Well, after being mentioned a second time on the daily Pajiba Love,(Thanks Stacy!) I have decided to write something else that is a semi rant/looksie at some of the summer movies(well one of them) and in case the picture to my left isn't a good enough clue, that would be The Strangers, a film based on true events like Texas Chainsaw Massacre was based on true events. Which in the end meant stretched out far from the truth and turned into a gory spectacle. But why in particular this movie? I mean, I, like many am pumped and anticipating for when The Dark Knight comes out(I'm waiting for when IMAX tickets go on sale), why pick a horror flick with seemingly true plot elements and stars freakin' Arwen the Elf? Which is where my point comes in handy.

Too many horror movies are a) released at the wrong time of the year or are b)terrible.

I first saw a trailer for The Strangers when I went and saw the underwhelming and displeasing The Ruins, and to be quite honest, I began to have a laughing fit in the middle of the theater. Mainly because it seemed like a totally cliched trailer for what seemed(seems) to be just another version of Funny Games, but it will make more money and actually make a spot on the top ten of the weekend. But in the trailer, I'm not 100% sure what pissed me off more about it; was it the fact that Liv Tyler was standing in the kitchen when there was a masked villain in plain sight, or was it the fact that she had a lit cigarette? I'm going with the cigarette to be quite honest. And now, after watching the trailer several times, I find it to me semi eerie, but still not something I'd pay $10 to see, more like a half price matinée. The elements it shows are all hand book scares:

Skipping record
Person standing while the killer is right behind them
Non creepy song taken out of context and made freaky
Quick cuts to make what is normally a kind of scary moment into a terrifying pee your pants experience
Masked killers with screw around with the protagonist's head
Swing(or other object) that makes a noise but no one is there

I could go on, but I've got other things to talk about.

So seeing as this is a movie that is being released during the summer and looks like it might sucker me in(though I'm still not sure I need a movie of Liv Tyler screaming for two hours), why not around Halloween? How much more scary would this movie be if it were released when there were people in masks surrounding you and you are out and about alone? Despite the latest movie in the torture porn series, Saw, or a crappy PG-13 remake of a Japanese movie with a gorgeous star from One Tree Hill, there's not much to fear about the modern age of horror.

I mean, let's look at what has been good in terms of horror: The Descent. Why can't we make movies like The Descent that screw with your mind and make you cringe and give you an ending with a huge punch that leaves you flabbergasted? However, that is one movie in two years. That's sad. I enjoy the feeling of fear a good scary movie can give you without having to bare boobs or be misogynistic like Hostel. Scary doesn't mean show all of the blood and guts. Fear can also be caused by what you don't see then always what you do see. It's why Jaws is so legendary, until you briefly see the shark, your pants have turned to a shade of brown.

And why do we have to remake every damn movie the Japanese produce? The number of bad horror movies that get released in March of all months and earlier is just horrendous. If you're going to make a scary movie, for once find something original. And that's where we get into Hostel territory. Not a remake, but a disgusting orgy of boobs and intestines. It seems that today, what is not a remake is just torture porn. And that frankly will not do. Horror doesn't have to rely on blood and skin to attract an audience. A good horror movie is like a regular good movie. It relies on its story and it creates characters you are both repulsed and intrigued by. Hannibal Lecter much?

So, to the producers and people who make movies in Hollywood, those who suggest making another remake of a perfectly fine movie(Platinum Dunes, you suck donkey), tell them to watch those classics and take notes. An homage is better than a rip off, in case you were wondering.

And as an added bonus, for those who have not seen it: The Strangers trailer!

Tila Tequila Eats Puppies and Watches Kittens Cry

2008-05-21T18:59:00.005-05:00

To the Picture to my Right: Why are you smiling?! I'm not! It's because of your show that I have become an embittered blogger with a heart of fire and a strong hatred of MTV. If this is the Zeitgeist, then I want out.

Aw...Now that was a little too harsh, wasn't it?

Um...No.

As you may already know, I have a severe distaste for a certain show called "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila" A show which is apparently a show so important that they(being MTV) decided to give the starletard the butt end of her fifteen minutes of fame. I think she's on 13:47, so we're close!

Now, it might be semi immature to accuse Miss Tequila of such heinous crimes. I'm doing the world a favor in hopes that they might be swayed by my accusations, which I'm positive are true. But that's just me. However, I will say that while she may not necessarily eat puppies, I'm certain that she enjoys watching her contestants eat goat(?) testicles. Didn't the Wicked Witch of the West do that to the Scarecrow before becoming a news anchor for Fox?* Oh well, I'm sure it's in there somewhere.

I'm guessing that you, the reader of my site, would rather see me review her heinous abortion of a program than simply tell you not to watch it, and instead watch something like this family movie from France or something a bit lighter like this cute little gem with an animated rabbit. I'm pretty sure you'd rather watch a movie that describes the pain you get from watching a small portion of an episode of Shot at Love.

Now, on to the review:

As you already have guessed, A Shot at Love is a very, very bad show. Not only is it very bad, but because of this putrid waste of air wave space as well as other shows that spawned this show from the back of the middle school x number of years ago, there are only more and more bad shows being produced.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you:

Celebracadabra: A show about celebrities who team up with magicians! Hey, since when did Hal Sparks do anything else besides make out with Strawberry Shortcake?

Farmer Wants a Wife: Where, believe it or not, a farmer wants a wife. I. Kid. You. Not.

I Know My Kid's A Star: Ten teams of parents and children go at it Lohan family style to prove that their kid is SO much better than your kid. So suck it.

Secret Talents of the Stars: A show canceled after one episode which featured secret talents of the stars! Because my life would not be complete unless I saw Ben Stein do the jitterbug. See, if the title tells me all the show is about, I'll know how to avoid it. However, I'm sure episode two showed how far Pamela Anderson could stick a banana down her throat! LOL!!!!1 It's the 90's all over again!!!1

Man, sometimes, I wish I was joking. The writers return only to find that Reality TV has worsened, that people are actually making these shows and some folks are actually watching them. Which means only one thing: Despite the lack of decency MTV had during the first season, they decided to take another shot at love, and it seems to have worked.

Yeah, from the bit I saw, the people were arguing about something, probably involving mud wrestling or some incredibly hot and heavy sport. Some guy got injured, proving that love hurts! Tila made out with a female contestant while the camera man had a mini vacation. But this season, Tila has raised the bar, she's making sure that she is able to find that one person who she can fall in love with. Wasn't that her mission last season???

On a side note: At my friend's school, a student was accepted to be on Rock of Love 3. Which totally blew my mind, seeing as Season 2 had only just started. Would that mean that I'm right all along? That Reality TV is a sordid and horrific zone full of torment and fear?!

Well, except for Top Chef. Now that there is a quality show.

P.S This fall, more Pushing Daisies! So after weeping in a corner for a year, you can rejoice and sing for the return of the greatest thing to happen to pie since Waitress!!

*Disclaimer, I'm sorry Ann Coulter. I know it wasn't goat testicles you tried to feed the Scarecrow. You were just going all Ellen Page in Hard Candy on John Edwards. Can you still sleep at night? If so, you have no heart.

"I'm Wide Awake and I can see the perfect sky is Torn..."

2008-05-09T21:12:00.004-05:00

Call me bizarre and deranged all you want, but I feel that there is an important matter at hand. A matter of two songs, well, one song, two different versions. You're bound to have heard the popular version of this song, but all will be revealed soon-ish.

Alright then, first, listen to this song, Torn by Natalie Imbruglia, a sweet, catchy little tune that has been played on the radio at least a gazillion times. It was a song I knew way back when, like, the nineties, that's how old I am. Well anyways, I finally found the title and the artist of this song, a very, as I said, catchy tune. A song that most people could relate to. There's just one little thing I only found about a month ago.

Torn by Natalie Imbruglia is in fact a cover, a version of a song by a little known band, Ednaswap who wrote a couple songs that ended up getting other people famous. Only, in my honest opinion, Ednaswap's version of the song is much, much better by a long shot.

Call me an obsessive person all you want, but doesn't it seem unfair that while the version you've most likely heard is a nice song, it is a) a cover of a song by an almost unknown band and b)the original version is ten times better. Need proof? Well, here it is, my good friend(s).

The point I have here is that in pop culture, people are notorious for doing mainstream versions of songs that are fine on their own, but unable to sell because, well, they aren't commercial or some random crap like that. And frankly, it makes me sick. While Imbruglia did a cover of the song and gave a slight 'twist' on it, if by twist you mean poppy makeover. Don't I have a right to complain?

Anyways, it's Friday, you should probably be out at the movies seeing Iron Man instead of worrying about some mixed up blogger's sanity. Au Revoir!

You're a Part time Lover and a Full Time Friend: Tearjerking Movie Moments

2008-05-01T19:23:00.002-05:00

Wow, it's been forever since I posted, and since I am bored as hell(literally) I figured I'd make a list of movies that are tearjerkers. It doesn't mean that they are 100% sad dramas, just movies with moments that make me emotional. To me, a movie that makes me cry is a movie that proves itself human. Not only can it cause me to lose it, it also makes me feel 100% more releved and relived because even though tears are flowing, I'm getting the full impact of the film. Oh, and I'm making this mostly spoiler free, so do not fret. Also, I have some repeats that I may have mentioned before, just so you know.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

How many times has this been mentioned on this site? At least three times, I'm guessing. Well, I'm guessing that I do mention it so frequently is because it really is just an incredible movie. Full of funny and sad and altogether human moments, you've just got to love this unique and mind blowing movie. And you'll most likely shed a few tears when the protagonist realizes the mistake he has made. Brain Fart: Sometime soon, I'm going to Montauk.

Lars and the Real Girl

This film too was mentioned earlier, but I thought it wouldn't matter if I mentioned this a second time, just because it is the kind of feel good movie I am into. Films that set out to jerk tears and tear heartstrings are in my opinion pathetic,(*Cough* August Rush!*Cough*) So this was a sigh of relief. Only the brilliant Nancy Oliver( A Writer for Six Feet Under) can take what could be a dirty sex comedy about a man who falls in love with a sex doll and turns it into a human movie with human emotions. When we the viewer learn how supportive the community is and how much they love him, you can't help but smile and possibly sob.(Like I did)

Juno

Damn you Diablo Cody for making such a funny and sweet movie! Well, it's not a bad thing, I would personally like to thank her for making such a terrific film and bringing her characters to life. I will admit that when I first saw this, I did not cry. It was only after I bought the DVD and watched it that I truly wept and became ultimately bi-polar. I blame Ellen Page and her cute lingo and how honest and cute Paulie Bleeker is and how soulful Cat Power is. Gaw, now I'll start choking up...

The Wizard of Oz

Yes, that Wizard of Oz. The movie with Judy Garland singing about rainbows and sleeping in poppy fields in those freaking ruby slippers. Call me hokey, and I'm assuming that I'm not spoiling anything, anyone with a soul has seen The Wizard of Oz when I say that the end really gets me going. Even though she loves each and everyone of the men she meets, it's the kind Scarecrow that she's going to miss most of all. Now you've got to admit, over the rainbow is pretty much magical, no matter what age.

Love Actually

Recently, Love Actually has become a Christmas favorite. Something about how it's a romantic ensemble movie that revolves around Christmas and Love. To be honest, the only reason I don't cry during this movie is because both times I watched it, I was in a room with my family. It's reasons like that that make me just want to leave the room, take the movie and view it on my own time. It's one of those movies that ties up beautifully in every way, shape and form.

Beauty and the Beast

I'll admit it, few cartoons can make me feel the warm, gooiness inside when I watch Beauty and the Beast. Instead of falling head over heels in love with the beast, Belle is at first repulsed by him, then as the film progresses, she learns to love him and that beauty is only skin deep. You might say I'm biased towards this movie because Belle loves to read books(YAY!) but I like the songs and the story. You can tell me the beast will get Belle and live as many times as you want, I'll still breakdown and cry like a baby.

Six Feet Under(The Final Three Episodes)

As tearjerkers go, this is the mother load. The biggest emotion I possible felt for anything lies deep within the awesome power of this show. I not only cry while watching the final episodes, but I feel like as the minutes go by, I'm losing people in my life. People who I've loved, characters who I've grown attached to. At the center, these episodes aren't always about loss, but about how important and beautiful life is. It is also nice to see Claire(Lauren Ambrose Aka My Personal Claire for The Time Traveler's Wife movie) grow up before my eyes and become a young woman. I don't think any show or movie will ever hit me the was 6FU did. Rest in Peace.

So, after living life, what happens next?

2008-03-28T22:09:00.003-05:00

The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Author: Stephen Chbosky
Year: 1999

Way back when, an author by the name of J.D Salinger wrote the classic book about teenage life, The Catcher in the Rye, a book that was about a young man that is brutally honest, frank, and yet, endearing. It seems that Chbosky's intentions were that to take the tough but wise protagonist/narrator who tells his story about life and growing up. However, I have not read Catcher, I have read Perks of Being a Wallflower and honestly, I feel that while the dialogue is very true to teenagers and that the activities that teenagers get involved in, sex, drugs and Rocky Horror are real, but after reading this slim novel, I had one burning question:

Why the hell should I care?

Granted, Perks is a book with its own cult following, one that I had heard talked about by teens for ages until I actually read the book itself, and to be honest, I am not impressed.

I read Perks when I was the age of the narrator, Charlie, I was about to start high school, so it was about the end of the year that I read the book. The story involves Charlie, a freshman who writes to an anonymous friend, one we never learn the identity of. Charlie's friend killed himself not too long ago, so Charlie's method of grieving is to cry. However, it is not long before he meets up with the cool kids and is introduced into their life, their circle of friends, their lives. Charlie has problems brewing at home, so he is just desperate to find friends and be cool, so he does. However, he also befriends a teacher who challenges him and lets him work to his full potential. In the end, his potential is pretty much a small after thought, seeing as smoking and alcohol have taken up what could make him great. And his friends are the 'good guys'.

One of my major problems does not lie in the whole aspect of a kid doing drugs, partying and living his life with older kids, I pretty much did the same growing, granted I didn't immerse myself into the drugs and alcohol subculture. However, Charlie was not me at all growing up. Reading this book, I kind of felt, dare I say, repulsed by him. He seemed less of a cool kid hanging out with the seniors, more or less the little freshman who followed around the big kids. Reading him talk about his interactions with his friends, I didn't feel jealous, I just felt like how the hell is he just coasting by life, getting friends that are anything but trustworthy, dating people who are out of his league, and as I mentioned before, the only thing I got out of this was that he gets into addiction and all of that jazz. It's rather difficult to describe my dislike for Charlie, but I just felt that because he was popular, because he went to parties, he wasn't someone I wanted to be, he wasn't my voice. For once I felt like this young teenage boy was just someone I wouldn't be friends with, making me feel like a judgmental senior, which sounds horrible, and yet, I was one of the few who felt that this book did not speak out to them.

Another gripe I had with Perks was that though it is a short, sleek novel, nothing seems to happen that is particularly important. Besides the parties, the hanging out, the drinking and smoking, all I really walked away with was not to make the same mistakes these characters did. Nothing threatened their lives, they had lousy times, but nothing really changed them, there was no eventual realization that maybe life was something important not to waste time lazing around. Call me cold, but I expecting something big to change their lives, death, AIDS, an STD, anything that made the book truly stand out as something other then a bored teen's guide to parting.

Damn, do I feel like an adult.

In a nutshell, The Perks of Being a Wallflower isn't a bad book; it's not very long, it's readable, the dialogue is believable, and there are some scenes that stand out. It's not a bad book, it just has way too much of a cult following based upon a fair young adult novel. If you want to read a book that is this, only 100 million times better is Looking for Alaska. Believe me, it blows this one out of the water and justifies my annoyance for this book.

Every Little thing that You Say or Do, I'm Hung Up, I'm Hung Up on You.

2008-03-24T15:35:00.003-05:00

Before I go on my tirade, let me say that I don't fully intend on hurting anyone's feelings, but I've just got to come out and say it:

I cannot stand Madonna. Period.
"Does Not Want!"

Like every rant, the reason I am venting about Madonna, one of the most popular singers ever because I see her as one of the most ubiquitous, vain, vapid, and overrated musicians of all time. Don't get me wrong, I will admit that her song, Hung Up that borrows(for lack of a word) from ABBA is more then slightly catchy and a guilty pleasure of mine. Despite this small guilty pleasure, it's not enough to retain myself from ranting about her. She hasn't looked for world peace, she constantly tries to bring back her sexy self from the eighties and she is always trying to reinvent herself as well as her image. Madonna seems to think she's still the bubbly, youthful free spirit who is loved by everyone when her only devoted listeners seem to be gay men and strip clubs. What makes this woman so loved, so worshiped and so divine? She is a Kabbalist which has turned many people to this pseudo-religion and worst of all, she is convinced that she is also as British as the queen herself.

For reasons beyond me, Madonna still has a stable career, when many people seem to be against her. She cannot act for her life, it's clear as can be. She notoriously ruined Guy Richie's career, almost bankrupt George Harrison's movie company, so not everyone loves her. While she still as popular as she was twenty years ago, she has also been a controversial figure. If by controversial you mean does things on stage and in music videos that is trying to be edgy and shocking. Which, if you think about it, is not very edgy and new at all. I know I most certainly will not listen to the aural assault called her music even if she pulls a Sinead O' Connor and tears a picture of the Pope and says Santa Claus is not real while spitting on the cross and makes love with a black priest(Wait...she already did this one).

Since her Like a Virgin stage, Madonna has played the cute and sexy part for too god damn long. People still attend her concerts, so because she's still so talked about, she obviously must still put out music, which it has slowly become less and less of. I'd call it, techno noise with boops and beeps and borrowing from songs from the 70's. And admit it, playing the sexy role at her age is just scary to witness and watching her try so hard to shock and cause talk about her music has gone on too long. Imagine your grandmother acting like Roxie Hart in Chicago and then you'll see what I mean.

In conclusion, Madonna, to be blunt, your fifteen minutes of fame have been up since the mid nineties and have been waiting to be collected for ages now. So claim them and leave the music industry please!

Still, regardless of what you think about Madge, this Ungodly rendition of the classic song "American Pie" should be buried in a safe at the bottom of a deep, dark ocean. And I won't even subject you to Madonna rapping. You'll have to search for that on your own masochistic time.

Sucks more than Blood

2008-03-21T13:29:00.003-05:00

Bram Stoker's Dracula
Directed by: Francis Ford Coppola
Year:1992
Starring: Gary Oldman, Anthony Hopkins,
Winona Ryder and Keanu Reeves.

Note: I do apologize for the irrelevancy of reviewing Bram Stoker's Dracula, but since I haven't really seen much since Miss Pettigrew, I felt I needed more bad reviews on my site, so without further adieu, the review.

I stumbled upon Dracula when a good friend called me to tell me that she had just watched Dracula and said it was just plain awful. She had received it as a gift years ago, but never opened the shrink wrap(Whether or not it was a friend who secretly despised her I'll never know). Needless to say, I told her I had to stop by and watch it with her, anticipating the cheesiness of the actors, the particularly bad accents and the wooden as a plank Keanu Reeves. What better way to watch a bad movie then with friends?

Anyways, we went over to our friends' house expecting the worst, and ended up with our expectations met and exceeded. It's not that Bram Stoker's Dracula is the worst movie ever made, it just isn't a very good one.

Bram Stoker's Dracula is, of course, another retelling of the classic novel. It has been made at least a thousand times with many actors donning the cape and fangs. Hell, they even spoofed it on The Simpsons. This version has been hailed "The greatest retelling of Dracula!"(As quoted by the cyberphiles on IMDB) While others have heavily criticized its acting and mostly everything about the film. The problem with this version of Dracula is that while it was a big movie, featuring a star studded cast and directed by the man who made two of the greatest movies of all time, as well as some major stinkers(North!) it takes the idea of Dracula's passionate love for a woman who died, causing Dracula to curse god and become the the evil, blood sucking vampire we know and love. Vlad Dracula is a warrior(We see this in a cheesy battle full of groans and oofs! from the solders) and he is madly in love with Elisabeta(Winona Ryder). As I already mentioned before, she dies, he becomes a vampire.

Flash forward many years later, we see Jonathan Harker(Bad as predicted Keanu Reeves) a man who is engaged to Mina(Also Winona Ryder) travels to Transylvannia for business, leaving Mina alone with her rich friend Lucy(Sadie Frost who could play the same role with the same amount of force in the porno remake Bram Stroker's The Three Horny Brides of Dracula) Lucy seems to rely on camp, she is loose, sleeps around with more men then their pajamas and always manages to moan like she is receiving a demonic orgasm. Coppola paints her up as a whorish vamp, and this is before her transformation, complete with the obligatory lesbian make out in rain(!)

Long story short, Harker, along with his god awful accent, arrives at the castle to meet Dracula(Gary Oldman) only to notice he is...slightly strange. Reeves is admit ably bad, which is a shame, seeing as he was at least decent in My Own Private Idaho and the 1st Matrix. Oldman play on the whole creepy vampire thing, and he is the best thing in the film, which means he is the least wooden of these actors. Another odd thing about the movie seems to be how Harker gets grabbed by a claw, sees a dead body, but he only reacts when he sees Dracula's brides eat a baby. The gore and violence isn't graphic, but its still very laughable as are the gratuitous sex scenes, nudity and in continuity of it all.

Scenes that are supposed to frighten the viewer(Lucy dressed as the queen of doilies who holds a little girl and randomly drops her, Mina drinks blood from Dracula's nipple, the brides, etc...) are done with camp value. The hype built up from the movie was immense, full of attractive logos and art campaign, star power and Dracula was the classic bad guy. When in short, all it lacked from being total camp was trannies at Dracula's castle doing the time warp.

Unfortunately, (or fortunately) I missed the ending, but all I know is that it is different from the book and that once its over, you are cursing yourself for wasting two hours watching a sloppy, cheesy adaptation that will only be remembered by me as a sad attempt to create a Dracula for the ages. And Coppola hasn't really returned from his creative slump, which is the scariest thing of it all.

The Country Mouse and The City Mouse

2008-03-18T18:15:00.002-05:00

Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day
Year: 2008
Directed by: Bharat Nalluri
Starring: Francis McDormand,
Amy Adams and Lee Pace.

It is rather unfortunate in the world of movies when the new year rolls around. It seems that the first few months (January, February and March) seem to be the time of year reserved for crappy and forgettable movies just as October, November and December are generally the time for the best movies of the year and typically Oscar contenders. However, Miss Pettigrew is an exception.

The story of Miss Pettigrew is not a particularly difficult one; the title character, Miss Pettigrew(A lovely Francis McDormand) is a dowdy governess who is not very good at her profession. Seeking a job that will keep her off the streets and away from the homeless shelters, Pettigrew enlists as the caretaker of whom she thinks is a mother. The so called "mother" Delysia Lafosse(A delightful Amy Adams) is in fact an aspiring actress who is, at the moment, juggling men. In a quick paced and upbeat manner, we are introduced to the men in Delysia's life; there's the foolish playwright Phil, Nick who owns a swanky apartment and is quite rich, and finally, Michael(Lee Pace getting work!) a musician who had a run in with the law and is heading to America. In the course of the day, we follow Delysia and Miss Pettigrew as they attend a lingerie show, give Pettigrew a make over and still have time for a party.

With its sharp dialogue, it's stunning sets and is period clothing, Miss Pettigrew successfully manages to capture the humor and the feel of British farce from the 1930's-40's. In fact, the film takes place during the early days of WWII, during a time where people feared war and didn't know what would happen or how many lives we would lose. But since the movie is usually bubbly and upbeat, it is able to tear away from being a melodramatic war drama(Which is by all means not the intention of the director).

While it might not be perfect, Miss Pettigrew is undeniably a fun film and a good one to see if looking for a diversion from fighting cavemen or the latest entry in the Dance porn genre. And that is much more then a relief.

An Open Letter to Platinum Dunes:

2008-03-15T22:34:00.002-05:00

Dear Michael Bay and the Schmucks behind your company, Platinum Dunes,

It has been brought to my attention that you have the urge to remake what is in my opinion one of the scariest movies ever made, Rosemary's Baby. In case people don't know what Rosemary's Baby is about, let me explain: Rosemary's Baby is a near perfect psychological thriller, a tale that is both dark and truly terrifying. The book itself is very, very well written and Polanski did the smart thing while adapting the book to the screen by staying true to the novel. So Michael Bay, since you along with the douchebags who run Platinum Dunes(Whatever the hell that means) are taking this perfect horror movie and remaking it, placing Sarah Michelle Gellar or another hot young star(*Cough!*Jessica Alba!*Cough!*) into Mia Farrow's neurotic shoes and reviving the film to make it more contemporary when the film itself has not aged a bit, I can only ask you this question:

Why? Why? Why?

I cannot say that I have seen any of your movies, all I know are that they are for people who have a boner for car chases and explosions and mass amounts of violence. If you have even seen Rosemary's Baby, you will know that it relies on the unknown that truly terrifies the viewer and that what you don't see is the worst kind of fear. To make a lavish and bulky version of a simple and already ingenious story would only make the film unwatchable and utterly useless. When we the viewer are "introduced" to the baby, we haven't a clue what it looks like, but from Rosemary's reaction, it's hideous and demonic. We don't need a visual representation of the ugly kid to satisfy our craving for blood and guts.

So, as I have stated before, why the hell are you touching this movie and making people like me who love the original write angry pseudo-letters to you and your beyond pathetic cronies? Do you enjoy taking old stories and turning them into full throttle action packed blockbusters. Well, taking Rosemary's Baby and tampering with its story, its characters and worst of all, desecrating the grave of Ira Levin. It was bad enough for Frank Oz to remake The Stepford Wives, but this, this is atrocious. This is sleazy Hollywood tampering with an idea and making it into a horrible clone. I do not know if you are aware, Michael Bay, that past remakes of classic horror have flopped miserably. Such as:
Psycho
Diabolique
The Omen
Any of these Japanese Horror remakes America simply craves
Black Christmas

And the list goes on. So by remaking Rosemary's Baby, you not only risk failing miserably, but also your film will most likely be panned by critics who love the chilling original, will it make any money at the box office? Probably. The whole character, Rosemary will probably end up as a flimsy, screaming creature that gets what's coming to her.

In conclusion, since Rosemary's Baby in my book constitutes as "Sleeping in Parent's bedroom and fear of using the bathroom because the hall light is off" scary. Your tampering with a classic movie turns me off like you would not believe. I'll skip your other efforts, I'll turn them off when they hit HBO, and I'll shake my head and ask "Will he ever learn?" So you can drive elsewhere while riding the Platinum Dunes, you're not welcome.

Sincerely,
Ben(The Kamakaze Feminist.)

Stop Handing in Good Performances and Make me a Sandwich!

2008-03-02T15:10:00.004-06:00

The other day, I was on one of my favorite sites Feministing, a site devoted to, you guessed it feminism. On the side, it had a video rant towards the Academy Awards. Curious, I checked it out, and all I can say is that I now see a whole new light. The video talks about gender segregation and the Oscars, something that never really seemed apparent to me. However, the video did address some important issues, especially how male and female actors are split in two. Though I will still watch the Oscars ever so devotedly, I still do feel that splitting the acting up and keeping males and females on the other side of the velvet rope. However, I have decided to issue an official response.

The Best Actor/Actress awards are intended to honor actors of both sexes which is not intended to be degrading to women or keep them away from the big boys. However, since the Oscars were established, this category has been gender segregated. This, to be is both good and bad. While it may honor the males and females that truly stood out from the rest, the actress Oscars not only are given out in the middle of the ceremony, but also, parts when it comes to males have been, shall we say better then women's parts. Feministing makes this point clear, and though it is unfair, it has been true. Men haven't been honored for playing a prostitute and men who get ugly don't get a guaranteed Oscar. Maybe because Hollywood loves to honor women who instead of playing wimpy and glamorous angels decide to look less flattering or have a drug problem, or they are a cheap prostitute. However, while women tend to get more roles where they "dirty" themselves up, women have also gotten recognized for their brave performances that show that they are strong and empowered. Jane Wyman won for her role as a deaf/mute woman who was raped, not for some wishy-washy Lifetime movie of the week material movie. She played such a brave part in 1948, not 2008.

Another thing I find fascinating is also as time goes on, more and more women are being recognized for their performances, roles that are truly roles that some would maybe consider role model material. Take Ellen Page, a spunky 21 year old who was the apple of the critic's eye in her role as a pregnant teenager in Juno. Cate Blanchett has been nominated two times as Queen Elizabeth, a queen who never married and was also a strong believer in what was best for her kingdom.

But would they win while up against male performances? The answer is probably no.

As long as the awards have been around, sexism has seeped through the glamorous and star filled Academy Awards ceremony. In the 20's, the only thing women could get recognized for doing was the Best Actress. Other then that, women would never in a million years receive an award for doing a "man's" job. Case in point, Barbara Streisand directs and acts in and produces The Prince of Tides. She is nominated for Best Picture and the film itself gets 7 important nominations. Notably absent is...Best Director! As Billy Crystal best said, "Did the film just direct itself?" Fast forward today, women are nominated for many awards that are gender neutral. 3 of the five Best Screenplay nominees were women and Diablo Cody won the award. Sofia Coppola was nominated for Best Director for her beautiful and moving Lost in Translation. But still, when it comes to acting. More men are noticed then women. So if men and women were both up to the same plate, men, as always would most like triumph.

Another noteworthy observation, the Best Actress Oscar is given out earlier in the night, right along with the boring and lesser known awards. Why exactly is that? While watching the award getting handed to Cotillard, I only noticed the earliness of it all. My comment, "If Best Actress is awarded before 10:30, the final award of next year's Oscars will most likely be Best Documentary: Short Subject." Getting the important stuff out of the way first seems like a lousy way to award those individuals who were talented.

In conclusion, I think that while it may be gender segregated, the acting awards are put for some kind of semi purpose. Men and Women each year deliver outstanding performances and should be rightfully awarded. And since you can't really award both and leave both sexes happy, then what is there to do? For now, it is just going to stay the way it is.

They Lived Happily Ever After? Not always: A Guide to Incredible Movie Endings

2008-02-29T15:30:00.007-06:00

An ending can have different effects on us, it can makes us laugh, make us cry, and truly change us sometimes. I remember the King Tut exhibit a year ago where you are walking into a room of artifacts and other things galore. I said to myself: "But wait, there must have been something to perfectly end the iffy exhibit. Let's turn this way and maybe we'll see the famous death mask!" We make a turn and we see...The gift shop. And we can't reenter. I hate it when a good movie or anything leads you to a possibly perfect climax/finale, but it ends up sucking. I think that the ending to a movie is an important part because it leaves an impression of the viewer. To not get people angry, I have made the spoilers black so that if you want to see how it ends/check out my reaction, then highlight the section, but be warned. So, without further Adieu, and for those who don't mind spoilers/if you've seen some of these movies, enjoy:

Atonement
Now this one I did not see coming from a mile ahead. Well, that is, when I read the scrumptious book I had no idea. But watching such a lush story brought to life was truly a one of a kind experience. But still, to think that Briony did what she did and the harsh circumstances that played out. Both Robbie and Cecilia died and never got to be together. Now tell me, wouldn't you want to set things right after doing this?

Beautiful Thing
It's a rare occasion where a movie ending really lifts my spirits up. Really, watching Beautiful Thing truly moved me. Here we had an realistic fairy tale like story that not only was a sweet movie, but it was all around great. And when you watch it, you cannot help but smile as the two boys stand up to the world and proclaim their love for each other as they dance together ever so perfectly to Dream a Little Dream of Me by Mama Cass. It doesn't get better then that.

Breakfast at Tiffany's
The ending to this one I pretty much guessed five minutes into it, but I
still was pleased when I saw that Holly Golightly not only found her cat but kissed the man she so dearly loved. It's very sentimental, but hey, It's cute. It might be a light movie, but still, it is just plain classic.

Casablanca
As I've mentioned before, Casablanca is one of my all time favorites. I know that I did mention the ending in my review for it, but I still have to just describe the sheer beauty of it all. Such a powerful scene, leading up to a bang that will break your heart. When Rick lets Ilsa escape Nazi occupied Casablanca, you know they will never meet again, but still, they will always have Paris.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
I apologize if you've already heard me rave about some of these movies, but now I'm hoping you want to see them even more. In fact, this list hopefully will get you to want to watch these movies now more then before. The whole movie is breathtaking, I always cry at the same part and then when Joel and Clementine finally realize they are soul mates, they promise to love each other forever. After the whole ordeal they've gone through, it truly is satisfying.

Fight Club
It is a rare occasion that a movie adaptation of a book causes such celebration, but this one and Atonement are notable exceptions. The movie itself is a two hour fist fight, you want to stop, but you're compelled to keep going. Brutal, unglamorous and ultimately hard as nails. The whole movie, we are mystified by Tyler Durden, easy going, easy talking businessman who starts up an underground phenomenon that supplies men with the testosterone they crave. The nameless narrator seems like such an odd guy to partner up with Durden, but we learn Durden isn't real and that he is the wild side of the narrator, it all clicks. And watching the buildings crumble before your eyes as The Pixies play, it's one hell of a way finish.

Lost in Translation
Ignore anyone else's rants on how this is pretentious tripe, it is clear that some people didn't get any of this beautiful and dreamy movie. Bill Murray, an older man goes to Japan to shoot some commercials when he meets Scarlett Johanson's character, a young woman and they share the most intimate connection one could have. It's not love, it's stronger then that. So of course, you can't help but feel sad when they say their goodbyes. He whispers words we the viewer do not understand, but it doesn't matter. And as The Jesus and Mary Chain plays on, we watch Murray drive away in a cab, taking one last look at the glorious Japan and at one woman who has changed his life. To me, that makes a heart wrenching ending.

Six Feet Under: Everyone's Waiting
This is, by far, one of the best episodes in TV history. I'm not even kidding, this is just plainl artwork here, it's real, its searing and it will linger with you for many months. Plus, it's the hardest I've ever cried at anything. To fully appreciate it, you really have to watch it from the beginning, so that when the satisfying ending comes to a close, you will be fully effected by it. We Watch the Fisher family grow and mature but most of all, deal with life and death. So it is fitting to take a glimpse at their futures and we watch everyone we love die, not because it is supposed to be Gothic, but because it shows you how great their lives are going to be and how great the future will be. And that is what makes a great ending.

The Sixth Sense
Say what you will about M. Night Shamalyan, but this movie is truly a unique movie. Both scary and sad, Sense truly attracts all of your senses by giving you a supernatural situation and making it real. We watch at a child psychologist tries to help a boy overcome a problem even he can't come to terms with. He can see the dead. And then comes the truly amazing twist, the psychologist has been dead since the beginning of the movie. If you didn't hear it before you saw it, then this movie was truly an eye opener.

The Usual Suspects
Who is Keyzer Soze? Only one of the scariest and most vicious killers in film history. It has been a very debatable movie, some love it, some hate it, but still it is genius. Kevin Spacey, a man with a limp and a very meek personality uncovers this mystery and tells the police all that he knows and the hell it has been in the past. And you will be blown away when it is revealed that Spacey has made everything up on the spot and he is the deranged killer. Pretty intense, don't you agree?

Y Tu Mama Tambien
The last item on our list is this coming of age movie that is funny, raunchy, spicy and just plain incredible. By capturing teenage hood, Alfonso Cuaron takes us on a life changing road trip with two horny young men who travel with an older woman to find the perfect sunspot. Along the way, friendships are tested, there is plenty of things going on and also, the two boys discover what it is to be an adult. Only we learn that after that summer, they will meet at a coffee shop and that the woman they have spent the movie with died shortly after their summer. Even more hard hitting, they will never see each other again. It might bum you, but admit, it is all about growing up and leaving things behind.

The Age of Innocence

2008-02-27T15:51:00.003-06:00

Atonement
Written by: Ian McEwan
Year Published: 2001

Well, the main reason for reviewing this book is two things: 1) I felt my blog needed to have some book reviews among many posts that defend America(Somewhat) and the generalization that our movies suck as well as describe my hate for backlash. While this may not necessarily a bad thing, I needed some variety. 2) I wanted everyone to know this: Atonement is a damn good book. It is so great, it's riveting and it is also without a doubt a beautiful and haunting tale that truly will spellbind you. I'm not making any of this up. Seriously.

If you haven't seen/read or heard about the story, it's simple and at the same time complex. It starts out as a book about an imaginative and mischievous girl, Briony, who observes a brief moment between her sister, Cecelia and their poor hired hand, Robbie. We later learn that this alleged naughty businesses is not at all what it seems, a recurring theme in the book. Briony wants to perform her play, but unfortunately her cousins are less then enthusiastic about acting. She also feels left out and ignored while the people at her house await the arrival of her older brother, Leon. So curiosity kills the cat, and then Briony decapitates the cat and all hell breaks loose. She is nosy, she is very unlikable, frequently through out the book and movie I wanted to slap her for being so foolish and stupid. It is because of her spying on Robbie and Cecelia and their behaviors that cause Briony to accuse Robbie of a horrible crime and let the culprit walk free.

Though it might not seem like it, Atonement, at least as I saw it, was not a romance movie as the film has been marketed out to be. It is a story about making mistakes, getting caught up in the wrong situations and having to repent for what we have done. It might not be as dire or as life threatening as seen in Atonement, but still, it does best describe what happens when lies and accusations are thrown at each other and what happens when we get in too over our heads.

Above all, Atonement is more or less a lesson. With rich and vivid language, Mcewan creates a scenic and spectacular story come to life. The majority of Atonement relies on the internal thoughts of the characters in the story. This not only enhances the reading, but it also makes the reader truly cherish the words. In the course of reading it, I felt intense emotions for the characters and towards the actions they did. Though you couldn't help but feel remorse for Briony once she gets older, but when you look back and think about how awful her accusation was, you start to realize that she has learned from her mistakes the hard way. And now, it is too late to change things.

Though not a long read, Atonement is a gem of a book. By combining a story that is about love lost by a cruel misunderstanding it also brings together a book about forgiveness and also about the horrors of war and how it tears people's lives apart. I do not want to overindulge on Mcewan, but I am definitely looking forward to reading another one of his haunting books.

Blood Fued: An editorial on who deserves Best Picture of 2007

2008-02-24T16:44:00.006-06:00

VS

Since the time I reviewed No Country for Old Men, I had mentioned that sadly, I had not seen There Will Be Blood, but I had wanted to see it. Well, seeing as it was playing within a few minutes from where I lived, I decided that Friday night I would see There Will Be Blood. Well, I have now seen both that are the main attractions for Best Picture, and frankly, from what it looks, the two that have a chance. I'm sorry to Juno, Atonement, and Michael Clayton, but from what it looks, one of these two has a good chance of winning Best Picture. But then again, everyone thought the overrated and in my humble opinion insulting movie, Brokeback Mountain would win. (My displeasure comes from the theme of infidelity, nothing to do with the tragedy of their repressed emotions.) But since I have seen both of the popular choices, I will throw my dice and predict a winner. Drum roll please...

My Choice for the 2008 Oscars for Best Picture is: No Country For Old Men.

Why No Country, you ask? Well, first let me explain:

See, I liked There Will Be Blood, don't get me wrong. I felt it was a one of a kind movie, in some parts. However, when compared to No Country I feel that it has less going for it. Parts of Blood to me felt like they dragged, especially the middle part. It seemed like nothing really happened to the characters, the action took a while to come, but still it wasn't really building up anything. When the film was ready to get back on its feet and regain my interest, they cut to a flashback! Ten years later, Plainview is rich and a total wreck, but how he comes to be is not explained. What bothers me even more is the fact that the middle part of the movie was dull, but in places still pretty good. But if a movie is dull in places, I don't always mind, but in Blood's case, it needed to tell the story, and also wrap itself up and cover enough ground. With the middle of the movie, Plainview is looking for oil, and he gets so wrapped up in it, he spirals out of control. When the end nears(Which I won't spoil) he is a corrupt and unlikable tycoon, a monster. The power he has consumed has driven him mad and now he was just at the deep end. But as I said before, how? How did he get to be this way? How did he get rich?

The fact that Anderson dives deep down into the more boring bits of the movie and less in how time will go by bothered me. The transitions were sloppily done, time would change, but why we'll never know. I'm ashamed to heavily criticize a movie I initially liked. But, in my opinion, Blood was too long and showed the wrong parts of the story.

Compared to No Country, Blood is simply a morality tale about how greed consumes us and makes us crazy. This isn't enough to really carry a movie at times. What Country does is start with an intense first five minutes that lay the ground work for the movie. It doesn't drag on too long, it doesn't fail much to deliver action, and though out the movie, we watch as a pulse pounding cat and mouse game unfolds. Though I will say that towards the end it lost a bit of momentum and the style that it had in the beginning.

Though this may be, though I might have preferred one movie to another, that still doesn't mean that my favorite will necessarily win, but in this case, it has a better shot. No Country will win because it doesn't take too long to get the story going, it doesn't have moments that are too long or boring. What might throw voters off with picking Blood is that a half an hour could have been chopped off of the movie. A good portion that stayed that didn't necessarily add much to the story, at least from what I saw. The academy will be looking for which movie has more going for it, which tells its story the best, and which one is more well liked. Since it seems that No Country applies for the majority of those, I will take a guess that come tonight, Joel and Ethan Coen will be standing on the stage, accepting the much deserved award for their haunting and brilliant movie. And if not, then whatever. Predictions aren't 100% accurate, but still, they can foreshadow the winner to come.

Worn With Age and Time

2008-02-22T11:13:00.003-06:00

No Country for Old Men
Directed by: Joel and Ethan Coen
Year: 2007
Starring: Josh Brolin, Javier Bardem,
Tommy Lee Jones and Woody Harrelson.

Seeing as the Oscars are on Sunday, and I sadly have no really commented on the picks of the race, I figured I'll make due with what little time I have and share my input on one of the films that was the best of 2007. Sadly, I have not seen some of the picks(There Will Be Blood, Diving Bell...,Etc.) But anyways, let the review begin.

We open No Country For Old Men with Anton Chigurh(A fierce Javier Bardem) being whisked away by a police officer. He is taken to the station and to be locked up when he manages to escape, but not easily. Chigurh is a cold, unforgiving character, he shows no fear, no hesitation, he will kill if he has to kill. He is probably the dictionary definition of Bad Ass, if you looked it up. Not only is he a psychopath, but he also won't take no for an answer.

Fast forward to Llewelyn Moss(Josh Brolin) a simple man who is out hunting when he stumbles upon the aftermath of s shoot out. Many men are dead, there is a substantial amount of heroin among the premise, and also 2 million dollars. Somehow, Chigurh and Moss are connected. Both want the money, and both will do what it takes to keep the other from getting it. Only Chigurh is equipped with better weaponry, most notably a captive bolt pistol. The kind of weapon used on cattle before they are slaughtered. Llewelyn has a wife to care about, and he desperately wants her to be safe. However, he is very secretive about the $2 million, and also very protective of it.

Also in the mix is Ed Tom Bell(A worn Tommy Lee Jones) the man who is on both of their tails. Like the deserts of Texas, Bell is old and ready to let the wind carry him away. He is dry, but good at his game. With age comes wisdom, as the saying goes. Watching his screen presence is haunting, here we have a man who is nearing retirement, he is tired and in need of some rest, but also he wants to do the right thing and serve justice.

Despite some of its flaws, No Country is an aching movie, full of emotion and energy, and at times, pretty damn scary. Most notably one scene where the two are at a cheap hotel and see each other semi face to face. Also, the film has a few moments that are definite Coen Bros moments. And while parts might be dark and haunting, it actually has quite a few moments that are humorous or witty.

Still, one thing that is also on my mind, as well as almost everyone else who saw it is the ending. I won't give it away, but I will say that it is the kind of thing that you need to take some time to think about. Though I will admit, I was, along with many members of the audience, kind of pissed off and surprised at its abruptness. Though I wasn't one of the people who groaned or exclaimed, "What the hell?!" I could see their stance. However, according to a friend who read the book, it is a more satisfying conclusion if you've read the source material.

Again, having not seen Blood or some other popular Oscar choices, I will just say that until proven otherwise, this was one of my favorites. It was the kind of movie that was not only well done, but also a true achievement. And even though it is mostly gone from theaters and not on DVD, I'd still recommend popping Fargo into your DVD player and watching one of the best from the Coen Bros. You won't regret it.

I'm seeing something that was always hidden. I'm in the middle of a mystery and it's all secret.

2008-02-19T15:18:00.004-06:00

Blue Velvet
Directed by: David Lynch
Year: 1986
Starring: Kyle MacLachlan, Laura Dern,
Isabella Rossellini and Dennis Hopper

Once in a while, a movie comes along that is just so dark, so avant-garde I must talk about it. Sure, if I see a good movie, I'll talk about it to my friends or family, telling them that they have to see it. But none of those movies have impacted me like Blue Velvet.

When I first saw Blue Velvet, I didn't know what to expect. I had heard about its notorious scene in which one of its characters is beaten and violated by a nitrous oxide huffing pervert. I will admit I was hesitant to watch this movie, even though I had rented it to watch. The only other times I've felt that way about movies would have to be while watching Irreversible and Happiness, two incredible but very unsettling movies. I guess you could say it was love at first sight.

Before I watched Blue Velvet, I had only read Roger Ebert's scathing review, so I was semi put off. It was only I saw this movie that I realized that like many reviewers who watch most movies, they might see a good movie through the wrong lens or vise versa. However, me telling you how good this movie is is not nearly as effective or leaves as much of an impact then you watching it yourself. And to those who have watched Blue Velvet will agree.

Blue Velvet starts with a scene that takes the style of suburbia in the 1950's and warps it to all dimensions. In the first five minutes, we travel to Lumberton, a town that echoes the cheesy postcards one picks up at a gift shop. Idyllic, calm, homely. So of course you know Lynch will screw it up and erase the line between normalcy and the bizarre. When we arrive at Lumberton, Mr. Beaumont is watering his green garden, when suddenly, he has a near fatal stroke. Instead of having him simply collapse, his dog comes over and proceeds to slobber up the water from the still running hose, making Mr. Beaumont practically invisible. But that's not all, his son, Jeffery(Kyle MacLachlan in the boy next door role...except next door probably is home to a sadist.) finds an ear in a field. Showing it to Detective Williams, who declares "That's a human ear all right. " Jeffery immediately catches the eye of his daughter Sandy.(A very young, bright eyed Laura Dern) What Sandy knows that her father doesn't is who the ear might belong to. Enter Dorothy Vallens and you've got one sick movie.

Dorothy Vallens(Played by the frail Isabella Rossellini) is a night club singer turned sex slave to one of cinema's most horrific and grotesque villains, Frank Booth.(An Eerie Dennis Hopper) Frank is a perverted, sadistic, laughing gas addict who alienates anyone he touches and infects with his sick spell. He has Dorothy's husband and son, and unfortunately he 'owns' Dorothy as well. Jeffery now has to save Dorothy from Frank and get to the bottom of this barb wire spider web. And you play the voyeuristic witness to it all, and you can't do anything, only the characters can.

At one point in the movie Sandy says: "I had a dream. In fact, it was on the night I met you. In the dream, there was our world, and the world was dark because there weren't any robins and the robins represented love. And for the longest time, there was this darkness. And all of a sudden, thousands of robins were set free and they flew down and brought this blinding light of love. And it seemed that love would make any difference, and it did. So, I guess it means that there is trouble until the robins come." What she means, and I agree with is at the end of a tunnel, there is always a glimmer of light. Which seems to be the overall message of Blue Velvet, It may disturb you, it might disgust you, it might even give you nightmares, but that is how it works its voodoo on you. By horrifying you, bewildering you and making you feel crazy, it helps you feel empathetic and attached to the characters. Regardless of whether you like it or not, it is most definitely a movie you will not forget.

Watch and Discuss What?!

2008-02-16T20:00:00.002-06:00

Flavor of Love 3
Channel: VH1

Well, as most of you know, I have ranted about Reality TV before. I dished on Tila Tequila, I slammed her disgusting show, so I don't think I need to revisit that realm again. However, this I guess could be an unofficial part 2 of my rant, only this time it is a formal review.

Before I review the complete and utter tripe I just witnessed, let me just say, What the Hell VH1? How could you do this to me. I will admit that your lists on random and unimportant things in pop culture, I fall under your spell of love for the 90's and the like. They are able to make sick days/bored days go by. Which, though at times it is kind of sad to think about, I still manage to find a shred of entertainment in lists and shows like that have random people get high off of nostalgia. And watching Hal Sparks make out with Rainbow Brite is disturbingly funny. But this, now this I will not stand for.

For some reason, the slogan for VH1 has become Watch and Discuss, but as I sat and watched as Flavor Flav embarked on another journey through career suicide and searched for love among 20 or so girls, taking them on dates, having them do challenges and swap herpes, being the witness to such disturbing charades was too much. They fought, swore and stripped their clothes off while we the viewer are subject to this bizarre form of Clockwork Orange like punishment. No, screw that, Guantanamo style punishment. Hell, even Marathon Man!(Well, I'm still alive, and Lawrence Olivier is dead so...) So what does Watch and Discuss really mean? Does it mean we have to blog about how pissed off we are? Is that the form of discussion we have to get into? Watch and Discuss makes VH1 look like CNN, like there is something important and life threatening to talk about. So if we talk about the fact that the Devinyls touch themselves while thinking about someone or that Sophie B. Hawkins wishes she was our lover, I guess we are doing VH1 a favor.(But in all honestly, I love you Sophie B. Hawkins!)

So VH1, here I am, shaking my fist at you. Since I ranted about Tila Tequila, a lot of things have happened. The strike ended, so now I will be able to gaze longingly at my Pushing Daisies cast again. Also, Flavor of Love 3 started up. And finally, what you've all been waiting for: My review.

If it weren't for the library carrying a DVD that just so happened to be scratched up. If the DVD weren't scuffed up, I would be watching The Shawshank Redemption(Like I planned to do) and finally seeing the movie that I have heard much praise about. But, since that happened, and VH1 just so happened to be on, and I was looking for a thing to review/rant about, this had to do. But let me say, after watching this, I think that Flavor Flav should be locked up in Shawshank and never be let out. Ever.

Watching Flavor of Love 3 was to say the least, a depressing experience. I had to sit through an hour of these girls flaunt what their mother(Or more like Plastic Surgeon) gave them. These girls were not only hoochie mamas, they were also crazy women who did not seem to speak proper English. (This season of Flavor of Love 3, join Flav and visit the most romantical places on earth!) The girls this season were annoying, and my hope is that one of them is just like the woman who made Flavor of Love 1 and 2, the queen B-yoch New York. And watching this season of bratty, catty and altogether batty divas, I found hope and a possibility that one girl would be the battiest of them all and be able to honor Miss. Tiffany's name.

Another thing that really annoyed me was the fact that two of the girls were on the plump side, and because they weren't twigs, ominous music was cued for their entrances, Flav acted like a complete asshole and just gawked like they were in cages and he had paid a nickel. Not only were the fat women put to shame, but so were the other women. The only thing Flav noticed on these girls were their enormous amounts of T&A, which seemed to be larger than their heads. No surprise there, it is reality TV. Who in their right mind would want to walk around looking like a human life preserver? For shame.

So Flavor Flav, if you read this(Which I know you won't) know that I will be looking at you with scornful eyes. Eyes full of fire and disappointment. And VH1, stick with 100 Greatest Songs of the 90's and get rid of Flavor Flav.

And P.S, be glad I didn't critique and lambaste Celebrity Rehab. I'm not even touching that.

My Whole Life is Like a Picture of a Sunny Day

2008-02-14T20:16:00.004-06:00

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Year: 2004
Director: Michel Gondry
Starring: Jim Carrey, Kate Winslet,
Elijah Wood, Tom Wilkinson, Kirsten Dunst
and Mark Ruffalo.

"Random thoughts for Valentine's day, 2004. Today is a holiday invented by greeting card companies to make people feel like crap."

So says Joel Barish, our film's main character. And while this might seem like a positively grim statement, this movie is what love is all about. Love sucks, but it can also be great.

In Eternal Sunshine, we start by looking at the life of Joel(Jim Carrey in an outstanding performance) a young man who is very melancholy and glum when it comes to Valentine's day, However, we do not know why he is so bummed, and frankly, neither does he. While riding on a train to Montauk, he meets Clementine(Kate Winslet in her finest role yet) a blue haired wacky woman who is constantly teased because of her name and its relevance to Huckleberry Hound. She is odd, crazy, and yet an altogether three dimensional character.

However, while they might be a happy couple right now, things go sour as Joel realizes that they were together before, but she erased her memory and has forgotten all about him. Seeing this as an opportunity to get revenge, Joel meets Dr. Mierzwiak(Tom Wilkinson), founder of Lacuna Inc. A company that erases peoples memories. And since it just so happens to be Valentine's Day, memories are being erased by the dozen.

What at first seems to be a worthwhile experiment turns into complete chaos when Joel wants them to stop for he remembers things that are near and dear to his heart. The flaw in the system, not all memories of an ex are bad ones.

While it may not seem like much, it is definitely something incredible, something that is just beautiful. Joel and Clementine erase each other, but they realize that life isn't just made up of good memories, and the memories of a person, a face, a smile, a smell, could just go away. Imagine, something in your life vanishing. And yes, everyone has had some lousy times, but those lousy times make us who we are today.

While watching it, the viewer might need to go over parts to make sense of the movie, but that is what makes it so great. It's a movie that once we re watch it, we pick up on many different things we have not noticed before.

In short, Eternal Sunshine is a genre and mind bending experience, a joyful and depressing movie. It might make you look at life differently, it might weird you out, but know that no matter what your reaction is to this movie, you will never forget it. Because like a good memory, it will last forever.

We'll Always Have Paris

2008-02-11T17:51:00.000-06:00

Casablanca
Year: 1942
Director: Michael Curtiz
Starring: Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman
and Claude Reins

Since Valentine's Day is only growing nearer and nearer, it would be ultimately unjust not to include this classic. I had a few other movies in mind, Breakfast at Tiffany's but I had less to say about that movie. Match Point was another, but that's a dark movie about how love consumes us, so I figured I'd review it later. But Casablanca, that is a must for this day of love.

Set during World War II, Casablanca tells the story of Rick Blane, a man who runs a small cafe in Casablanca. During this point in time, Europeans were fleeing left and right, trying hard to escape from the Nazis, only problem is they aren't able to obtain exit visas. Rick is told by one of his acquaintances, Ugarte to hold some exit visas, for he is in great danger if the Nazis catch him with the visas. Two Nazis were killed holding these and the visas were stolen. When Rick hears that Victor Laszlo, the leader of the European resistance is to arrive at Casablanca. Only he doesn't know that he is in love with Ilsa, Rick's old flame from Paris.

What Casablanca gets right is that it is both a romantic and a memorable movie. The scenes in it are classic, the lines are just timeless. What makes this movie so enjoyable is that it is romantic, but not sappy. Sweet, but not melodramatic. But of all of the scenes that this movie has to offer, two stand out.

One is the scene where Ilsa finds Sam, the piano player of the cafe and asks him to play the song that she and Rick held close to their hearts. As soon as Sam starts playing, Rick tells him to stop and as soon as he sees Ilsa, he goes into a flashback that examines their romantic past, and how they were split apart. Though often quoted, the line "Play it Again, Sam" never appears in the film.

Second would have to be when the Nazis, led by Major Strasser begin to sing "Die Wacht am Rhein" the Nazi anthem, only to be drowned out by the French people in the cafe who begin to sing "La Marseillaise" it is so perfect you must see it to understand its true beauty.

Finally, this movie is also a romantic classic because of it's heartbreaking ending. To describe it is hard to talk about unless you have seen the movie, because you will not see it coming. (Caution: MAJOR Spoilers, highlight only if you've seen the movie!) When Rick and Ilsa are standing right by the plane, the plane that will take two lucky people out of war torn Casablanca, Rick does one of the most heartbreaking things in movie history, let her go. He tells her to get on the plane and says, 'We'll always have Paris." It is then you know that though they had a time, it would be a mistake to make Ilsa stay.

In short, Casablanca is a classic movie that is second to none, one of the best romantic classics. It is moving, it is beautiful, and it is timeless. And the final line, "This is the Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship" is said by Bogart with such gusto and emotion that all you want to do is join his friendship forever, as time goes by.

Dream a Little Dream of Me

2008-02-09T20:01:00.000-06:00

Beautiful Thing
Year: 1996
Directed by: Hettie Macdonald
Starring: Glen Berry, Scott Neil and Tameka Empson.

I figured since V Day is coming closer, and since I need to write some reviews for movies, I have decided to review romance movies. Also, this movie can fit in a category of Great Movies You've Never Heard Of. So, enjoy!

If you are like most people, you probably have never heard of Beautiful Thing, unless you are Darcie or my Canadian friend Ben. But do not worry, I will tell you.

The story takes place in England with two next door neighbors, Ste and Jamie. Jamie has a single mother who is seeing a guy named Tony, Ste is in an abusive household with a violent father and brother. Also their neighbor is the flamboyant and totally bizarre Leah, a teenage girl who idolizes Mama Cass, hence the soundtrack is laden with Cass' songs. As the movie progresses, the two boys start to grow feelings for each other and fall in love. The only problem is that being gay isn't very popular in society and Ste's father would kill him if he had a gay son.

If this sounds a bit formulaic, it is somewhat intended to be. It's tagline, "An Urban Fairy Tale" proves it right, this is a movie that wants to lift your soul and make you feel good. It's sweet, it's moving and unlike most gay romances, no graphic sex. In fact, not much sex at all, though you can insinuate some things that happen off camera.

Another thing about the movie, which depending on whether or not you saw it/liked it, is that in my opinion it outweighs Brokeback Mountain by a long shot. With Brokeback it's a movie essentially about cheating on your spouse. Watching this movie made me feel kind of bummed, seeing as I was expecting a moving and altogether inspiring experience, all I got out of it was just another blah story about love and cheating. Which, regardless of the sexes of the people involved is still low. I thought Beautiful Thing did a better job at addressing the important themes that coincide with today's issues and the whole gay rights debate. If a movie can be both daring and sweet then it has succeeded.

In short, I love this movie because it's just such an upbeat movie that makes me smile whenever I think about it. It's not only a great movie, but also one that is very memorable and truly a beautiful thing.

Saying I Love You 18 Times

2008-02-07T19:18:00.000-06:00

Paris, Je T'aime
Year: 2007
Directors: Gus Van Sant, The Coen Bros,
Sylvan Chomet, Wes Craven, Alexander Payne, etc...
Starring: Juliette Binoche, Maggie Gyllenhaal,
Gaspard Ulliel, Elijah Wood, Steve Buscemi and Natalie Portman.

Seeing as Valentine's Day is just around the corner, the one day that is both loved and hated by many. You may love it because it is a day devoted to devotion and caring for your partner. You may hate it because everyone else is so cheery while you are alone. But regardless of what you think love is, here is a film that defies every impression and tradition that love is. Love takes many forms, love for a person, a place, a thing, a child, an old flame or a complete stranger. It is not just love that captivates us, its the feeling of being the favorite person to someone, the light to their day, the sun in their sky. And in Paris, Je T'aime, we are the witness to 18 short vignettes about the almighty power of love.

How do you review a movie that isn't really a movie, more like 18 short scenes about romance? Do you individually analyze each film? Or do you let the reader/viewer see it for themselves? The thing about Paris, Je T'aime is that it is an ensemble piece to the grandest scale. A movie that is woven by 18 unrelated short films and still makes sense at the end. It may not always make sense, but then again, does love ever make sense?

Paris, Je T'aime is less a movie, more a cornucopia of true beauty and love. Not only love, but each film is set in a different part of the city of love. 18 directors, many different actors and many different reactions I had for the films.

I guess to describe the movie I would have to tell about the movies that stood out and that spoke to me the most. While the majority were great, a few were better than others. One of my favorites, Le Marais by Gus Van Sant(Who I have loved since My Own Private Idaho) tells the story about two men, one who speaks French and thinks the other boy can understand him. One exchanges a number, and the rest I will not spoil. I like this one because it left me warm and curious as two what happened next. Another movie that stood out would have to be Vincenzo Natalis Quartier de la Madeleine because I adore cheesy vampire stories. The Tour Eiffel short by Sylvan Chomet is particularly wonderful because a) Chomet directed The Triplets of Belleville and b) it shows that love can be found in all places and even people like mimes can have soul mates. And lastly, the powerful Place des Fêtes about a man who loves a girl and does anything he can for her. I won't say anymore, it will hit you like a ton of bricks.

So since a movie like this can only be truly summed up when you watch it and cannot be justified in writing alone, I just will say that if you want a great romance movie to watch whether or not you see it on Valentine's Day, its still a magnificent feast for the eyes, the senses and the heart.

America Doesn't Suck

2008-02-03T19:59:00.000-06:00

Though you may be thinking this is just a rant about people who think that America is the worst country in the world, it is not. This is just me venting about the flaws about America and why we have been brought into a vicious maelstrom. Especially our movies.

I don't want to get into another argument with the internet, an invention which I so nearly and dearly love. It is because I love the internet so much that I am making these points. So bear with me, it is just me talking, but I hope you'll care to listen.

So, as many of you may already know that Meet the Spartans, a recent spoof movie opened and made its way to #1 at the box office. Which strikes me as odd because movie goers and critics alike hated this movie with a well deserved fiery passion. And how Meet the Spartans makes #1 last week while Arrested Development is still canceled haunts me every day, but I'm digressing. Yes, Meet the Spartans is apparently a bad movie, judging its predecessor Epic Movie(Don't ask me why I paid a ticket, it was a conjoined mistake between a friend) it is pretty much one 90 minute long gay joke ripe with other dick-fart-tit-pussy jokes that makes its viewers want to eat their own eyeballs. Yes, it is supposed to suck. Hard. But that's still besides the point.

Call this backlash, but people on the boards who hated the movie automatically play a card. Not just any card, the America card. Sure, America is flawed. Our president is a moron, his henchmen are evil baby snatchers and we find two men in love a bigger threat then the terrorists, but putting all that aside, we aren't responsible for everything wrong in the world. And yet, people assume that because of our flaws that we thrive on crappy movies and other stupid forms of entertainment.

I will admit, we can make some lousy movies, our ratings board is a bunch of homophobic prudes but who doesn't make bad movies? To judge a country by their movies is just a meaningless task. Everyone will make at least some bad movies, it's not like one country is superior to another. I can bet that France makes plenty of cinematic enemas, but I only watch movies from there that interest me. Meet the Spartans only seems to appeal to incredibly stupid twelve year olds, and yet people are blaming the country that made this god awful movie just because they sat through it and were pissed off.

But what also gets my goat is how every country, not just other countries, act all arrogant and obnoxious when they say that their country is the superior country that makes only good movies. Since nobodies perfect, I doubt that.

In short, we all have to sit through bad movies, I should know, I'm a reviewer. But let me just defend us in saying that for every Meet the Spartans or Alvin and the Chipmunks, there will always be an Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind or No Country for Old Men. So, to paraphrase Field of Dreams, a movie I do not intend on seeing(But that's besides the point) "If you film a movie and it is good, they[the moviegoers] will come."

Lookout for Snidely Backlash!

2008-02-01T21:29:00.001-06:00

Before you read: Just be aware that I know I am ranting about other bloggers, but it's more trolls then random people in general. And while it sounds silly, it is a topic that needs to be addressed.

So, after reading my short and sweet little intro, I hope you are more aware on who I am going to devote my sweet time to now. Not reality TV nobodies, just online nobodies. Yes, I am ranting about the irritating act of backlash.

Example: When I first heard about the movie Juno, I thought it looked like a cute movie about a smart girl who makes less than smart decisions. It had Ellen Page who freaked the crap out of me in Hard Candy, as well as other good actors. I was lucky enough to see a sneak preview of Juno a month before it was released. Needless to say, Juno is an amazing movie, one of the year's best, and when I went to rave about it on IMDB, it seemed that everyone else who saw a preview of it gushed about it, too.

Fast forward a month, and I go online to see the buzz about this little movie. It turns out, the users on IMDB figured since it was a popular movie that they should clog the web with scathing attacks against a movie. It's a movie for god's sake, not the Vietnam war. Why get so bent out of shape about a movie?

And then the light bulb in my head (Or the computer screen) went off and I realized their intents, their sick, sick attempts to piss me off. They were doing it based on popularity?

Why? Why bash anything that is popular and expect people to take credit for what you have to say. It's pretty much as elitist as elitist gets, it's childish and it also just makes you look like an idiot when you claim to be non-conformist. Pshaw, that's pathetic. What kind of sad person takes pot shots at Diablo Cody just because she got famous for her wit, her personality and most of all her script. She is rightfully famous, let her bask in her own glory.

And another thing, why do people immediately use the word, pretentious to describe a movie they didn't understand? In my honest opinion, it's pretty pretentious to make yourself out to be an intelligent scholar and a bright internet user when all you're doing is calling something pretentious when you didn't understand/get the movie. If you dislike the movie, it's fine. If you disliked the movie, then claim that everyone who does is a moron, then I do have a bit of a gripe with you.

If a movie is popular among audiences, it will get blasted. If it is critically acclaimed, it will get shot in the back. If it gets Oscar wins/nominations, it will be taunted and kicked in the shins. The shins I tell you!

And to be honest, I don't really know why I do this, but yet I do it because only the bloggers will understand the problems some people have dealing with the zeitgeist of today, the culture and the movies we love and how people devote their time to bash a movie only because nobody will find them. For that I will roll my eyes and click my tongue, because now that I have ceased to rant/vent about the matter, I am clean.

As Real as a Doll Can Get

2008-01-25T16:09:00.000-06:00

Lars and the Real Girl
Year: 2007
Starring: Ryan Gosling, Emily Mortimer
and Patrica Clarkson.

Before I review Lars, let me say this:

Even though this movie may not be too new, it came out last year, so why review it now? It's not in theaters, the only thing buzzed about it is its ONE nomination. But I still can't get this movie off of my mind. It's killing me, I feel if I don't give this movie the phrase it deserves, then who will?
Lars, which if you read a synopsis may sound like the new Judd Apatow movie. Guy falls in love with a sex doll. Hilarious, right? And yes, it's very funny in places, but that's not the part about it I'll remember. What gets me, what really has brought me to review this movie is that it is a moving fable. Sure, it's not the greatest indie movie of the season, but still it's a movie that did not really come across to many audiences. It was well reviewed, but people seemed to avoid this one. I was lucky to manage to see it at my local movie theater and was able to watch such a uniquely beautiful movie.

What Lars does is show life through our main character's eyes, how what he sees is normal, while his brother sees this as him going insane. Lars never really had a mother, she died shortly after childbirth, so it was him, his father and brother, Gus. Eventually, getting sick of being surrounded by depression, Gus split and left Lars with their melancholy father. Gus constantly feels he is to blame for his brother's irregular behavior and his obsession with this doll. So to him, this doll is a normal girlfriend. What also keeps this movie great is the fact that it can have a character that is a life sized sex doll, steal the scene. What makes scenes involving Bianca, the name of the doll as picked by Lars, so funny is that she says nothing but since Lars has her alive in his mind, she is technically real.

An important point the movie brings up is what you are supposed to do with such an oddball like Lars? You could react like the following: a) Treat him like a mental patient or b) Treat his new "girlfriend" like Lars does.

So enough about the points it brings up, here's the fully story behind Lars:

When we meet Lars, he is a socially awkward boy in the body of a young man. He hasn't really grown up, he is afraid to be touched by others, he will occasionally walk away whenever his comfort level is jeopardized and he also strays away from achieving a social life. But as soon as a guy at work(More like Perverted Cubicle buddy) tells him about this Real Doll site, Lars(Played with extraordinary emotion by Ryan Gosling) soon after orders a doll. As mentioned by another reviewer, part of the story is odd because he orders the doll himself, so he kind of knows what he's in for. But still, it doesn't affect the movie at all.

As I mentioned before, his brother, Gus(Paul Schneider) and his pregnant wife, Karin(A wonderful Emily Mortimer, despite a couple slip ups with her British Accent) react differently. At first, they are completely dumbfounded. You can see it in their faces that they are disturbed not only by the fact that Lars has befriended a doll, but while sitting in her whorish clothes, Lars claims she is a missionary.

The two both come to an agreement, they send Lars to the local doctor because they want to help him become detached to this inanimate object, but they tell Lars it is because Bianca looks ill and needs to be checked up on. Through the many visits, Dr. Dagmar(One of my favorite actresses Patrica Clarkson) Lars starts to mature and grow a bit. He is less awkward, he allows people to be closer to him, he even takes up an invite to bowl with the cute girl from his office who has a mad crush on him, Margo.(An irresistible Kelli Garner) But as the movie goes on, Bianca's health worsens, but her connection with the town grows stronger. The many people who participate in loving Bianca really care for Lars, so they show this by helping Bianca get accustomed to their town and gain a social life. Who knew a doll could be elected on the School board?

What struck me the most was the final act of the movie, where Lars grows up and decides to leave his childish things behind. It's sad and ultimately hard for a man to say goodbye to a doll you spent the beginning of the movie growing fond of. The sweetest part for me was how the town loved him and stuck by him and his doll. So you can't help but feel an ounce of remorse for the central character.

The script, written by Nancy Oliver who wrote for "Six Feet Under" (My Favorite Show) is full of love and emotion and the actors show their 3-dimensionality in their behavior and their actions. Only Oliver could take a story such as this and turn it into an aching work of brilliance, how something that could be played one way goes in the opposite direction.

The scene I love most is when Margo finds one of her stuffed bears hung with cable cord by Lars' cubicle mate after his action figures were stolen by Margo. To help her, Lars begins to resuscitate and bring the bear back to life. Not because he thinks its real, but because he wants Margo to laugh. In a few minutes we learn that Lars knows what is real and what is not, and he has matured from the beginning of the movie. Now, he is growing up, and is able to both leave things behind and keeps others close to his heart. And that is what I walked away with.

Goodbye...

2008-01-22T19:51:00.000-06:00

Heath Ledger 1979-2008

You will be missed.

Blogging For Choice

2008-01-22T15:20:00.000-06:00

Today, instead of ranting about something or blogging about Oscar nominations(that will come tomorrow) I have decided to do my duty and talk about one of the most revolutionary court cases of all time. Roe V. Wade.
What makes Roe V. Wade so important was the fact that is changed the world as well as legalize abortion. And even though you may not feel this to be too important, think about it.
I will admit, being a male means that I don't really have much say in the matter to some, but I feel that everyone who cares about legal rights and keeping abortion legal matters. I'm a male, but I'm a feminist. I will never get pregnant, but I do know that it shouldn't stop me from doing the right thing and being pro choice.
I am pro choice because I want women to feel safe, I want women to receive the rights they deserve and not die because they get an abortion. My grandfather, a doctor can recall women coming to his office beaten and bloody because they got an abortion. Women do not deserve that horrible treatment, everybody makes mistakes, and we should respect that.
So, it's thirty five years and look how far we've come since Roe V. Wade and I'm proud to say that women no longer have to live in fear because they got an abortion. So everyone, men, women, take the time to think how lucky we are and how advanced society has become in 35 years and together, we can stop such a horrible and unsafe future from happening again.
I know that when it comes time to vote, if there is a general election involving this matter, I know I will vote pro choice and I will remember today. How people like me have gotten their voices heard and spoke up about abortion and why it is so important. And I will remember that I was there and I made a difference.

The Kids are Alright: Movies for kids who Aren't blockheads.

2008-01-20T21:18:00.000-06:00

These days, it's hard to find a decent movie for kids. Which is a bummer, seeing as when I was a young one, movies for kids were both good and bad. I'm not going to glorify my generation, we did spawn Pokemon and other crap that rots kids minds. But you know what, who doesn't grow up watching crap for kids movies. I loved many movies that nowadays haunt my dreams and try to steal my childhood. And for some odd reason, tonight, I feel gracious and returning to my childhood or movies that have helped shape it. So, feast in the glory of what I think are movies mandatory for kids who aren't afraid to be moved and maybe changed. Entertained and educated.

Pixar Movies
The thing that is so lucky for kids is that they have the ability to watch Pixar movies, which are also great for people older then six, because Pixar is the greatest company these days for entertainment for both kids and adults. While some might not be as great gems as others(A Bug's Life, Cars, meh.) It doesn't mean that they are horrible movies, every Pixar movie is a gem in its own way. From Toy Story, it's first to Finding Nemo, my favorite, to Ratatouille, their latest and most advanced film. So watch a Pixar movie and I'm sure you'll love it.

Beauty and the Beast
When growing up, this movie was constantly in and out of my VCR, I'd watch it, recite the lines and sing along. First of all, I loved how Belle was a book lover, smart, independent and didn't fall head over heels in love with the beast and was in no rush to get married. It's a tale about looking past people's differences and accepting them for who they are. Which, as the years go by has meant a lot to me. I feel even more emotion for the characters, and the odd thing is when the beast is ready to 'die' I lose it, so sue me. But yeah, I'm still not afraid to express my love for this movie.

The Wizard of OZ
In my humble opinion, it's movies like these that truly make me appreciate life and everything about it. This movie not only has a great song, but also fun characters, amazing scenery and sets and it just is near perfect. From the Sepia beginning to its famous heel clicking climax, this movie has it all. Singing scarecrows, lions afraid of their own shadows and men of tin in need of a heart. Plus a nasty witch who uncannily resembles Ann Coulter(Am I Right?) And the film's message sticks with me, "If I ever go looking for my heart's desire, I'll look no further then my own backyard." Oh, and there is no munchkin suicide, deal with it! Pink Floyd is only heard by people on LSD, it's not intentional, god!

The Lion King
If you think about it, this movie is pretty much Hamlet with hyenas. Or as it was called by the producers, Bamlet. You cannot go wrong with this movie, it's a spectacular movie, both visually and story wise. It is also the first Disney movie that shows an on screen death of one of its characters. So whoa, it's intense. Plus, you cannot go wrong with the phrase "Hakuna Matata" it's the ultimate slacker saying, but the film is most certainly not a slacker film.
P.S I will not deny that the letters S E and X are in the dust, that's just creepy beyond all belief.

To Kill a Mockingbird
It may be a bit intense for some kids, due to its subject matter surrounding rape, but nonetheless it is a movie that unites everyone. Both sweet and heartbreaking, loving and realistic, this is most definitely one of the best movies about growing up. Who wouldn't want a father like Atticus Finch? A man who stands up for what's right and isn't afraid to lose. It's just as important as it is incredible. Hits many cords and also changes you a bit.
And to people who haven't seen it, prepare yourself to lose it when you finally meet Boo Radley, the town boogyman. It goes down as one of the most moving scenes in movie history.

Stand by Me
Well, technically, this is the only R rated movie that fits in the category of personal favorite films, but still its a movie that is all about growing up and coming of age. Like Mockingbird, Stand by Me portrays life as a kid the way life as a kid is. Hard, and sometimes unfair, but also fun and full of adventure. We have the boy who is convinced that he will never receive the love his older brother who was killed got, one who is trying to prove that he isn't a bad kid, he just comes from a bad background as well as the movie's two other kids, kids who see the youthful side of life. It has the moving message of friendship, something that is important to children. So do not miss this one.
Oh, and a side note: When you watch Y Tu Mama Tambien, it's pretty much Stand by Me, only with sex, drugs and jerking off beside the pool. But hey, it's a coming of age movie about friendship!

A Christmas Story
Ok, I need to move onto a comedy or else I'll cry hysterically at my keyboard. Which no blogger likes, trust me. If you haven't seen this Christmas gem, then you must live in a cave or have a damn good explanation for why you haven't seen such a funny movie. And believe me, it is freaking Hilarious. From the boyhood obsession with a toy gun to the bully with yellow eyes(I swear!) to the most erotic household item. Ever. It's Christmas, the way it actually is.

The Nightmare Before Christmas
I will say that this movie scared the crap out of me when it came out, but now it has become an amazing movie that just brings out the kid in me. I can watch it and love it no matter what holiday, Christmas or Halloween it works either way. And trust me, you'll stare in wonder at the magnificent clay mation and the visual effects that truly make this one a classic Gothic kids movie.

Spirited Away
And finally, one of my more recent favorite movies, Spirited Away simply blows me away every time I see it. From its lush visuals to its breathtaking story about witches, spirits and all things mystical and magical. Plus, it has an incredible story that is both reminiscent to Oz and Alice in Wonderland. It's not only a fine piece of animation, but also a film that just blows you away. I'm positive it will be a movie I show to my kids when I do marry and have them. It'll just astound them and it is destined to be a classic.

Reality TV Bites

2008-01-06T19:55:00.000-06:00

Ok, so here is my situation:
Last Saturday, while watching my sister, who gets bored fast, I flipped on the TV in hopes of finding something half decent on. To my surprise(Scratch that, As I predicted) there was nothing to watch on TV. Finding something decent in this chaotic mess of writers on strike and channels fighting to keep their shows on the air. And how do we pay them back?
By creating annoying and fake reality shows.
The reality show was a revolutionary idea, which was given birth during the first writer's strike. However, when it comes down to class, reality TV must have been the result of a drunken one night stand in the backseat of a cheap, nacho cheese smelling car. And nine months later, once given birth to, reality TV seemed like a promising child. a child that would show human behavior at its finest, it would mirror life as we know it. The first, if you can remember or have read about, was The Real World, a show involving diverse people put into a house, living together. Needless to say, such a show appealed to a wide audience. In fact, season 2 involved one young man, Pedro, a gay, HIV+ guy who died not long after or before the season ended. and if Pedro had lived, he might just be appalled at the horrific sight of reality TV, as well as The Real World as a whole. The Real World now has become a racist, trashy show about totally uncharismatic people who you could smack upside the head without having to be asked.
And that's not all.
One of reality TV's most popular ideas has been the reality dating show. Blind Date, The Bachelor, Joe Millionaire, to name a few. And then there are others that are forgotten like a loud night and mass portions of alcohol(I'm looking at you, reality TV's mother), like The Littlest Groom, which appealed to...nobody.
Reality TV also is trying to be edgy when coming up with new bland material, so what is edgier then a show involving real live, actual gay men?! Gay men pretending to be straight to confuse the woman on the show, or vice versa, is quite an interesting concept. If by interesting you mean pointless and somewhat homophobic. Playing it Straight, is the only one that comes to mind. That and Boy Meets Boy. But I mean, let's face it, if you are going to create a reality show with gay men, they have to be Liza Minnelli worshiping, lisping fashionistas, or else, how can you tell they're gay? Hey, don't criticize me, this is what the networks are thinking. It kind of breaks my heart.
But gay men and my heart aside(But don't shove that too far I'll return to it), all of the reality shows I've mentioned so far cannot even hold a candle to what show was on that very night I just so happened to flip through channels.
A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila.
If you are like any sensible person, you probably have no idea who the hell Tila Tequila is, and it won't help or hinder your life if you do or not. The point is she has her own reality show, and you don't. Only her show is different because she likes both guys...and girls! Whoa! And because of that, what better way to exploit your bisexuality then to star on a reality show?!
Seriously, watching this reduce my brains to cheese whiz. How vein and vapid do you have to be to get a reality show now? Tila isn't particularly attractive, she can't sing, she isn't an actress or a veteran of some TV show from the 80's-90's, so why is she famous enough to have a dating show? Just because she has a huge number of friends on Myspace? Really, is that it?! I'm missing Pushing Daisies for this?!
However, while watching this circus of missing dignity, I did manage to cop an enormous feel for these people. A feeling of pity, of sheer sorrow, and hate for that annoying Starletard Tila Tequila. Here she is talking people who have lives beyond the realm of complete stupidity, and then giving lap dances to their grandmothers. One girl had a family of mentally challenged people who like her were adopted by a caring young couple who love every creature and thinks everyone's special. And while it was schlocky, Tila was pretty much using the girl, and they were on a dating show. The girl who really loved Tila was booted off the next episode. Classy?
But what really gets my goat is the fact that when on a reality TV show, being Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Trans gendered, Etc, that sole aspect about yourself makes you popular. Your sexuality is exploited to the point where you kind of feel ashamed for yourself and your personality. There is more to it then just faux lesbian tonsil hockey, and if people who subject themselves can't see it, then maybe they do deserve to watch such utter tripe if all they will do is look at people different then them as animals or creatures. Their brains have melted into oblivion already, why turn back now? What's the use?
On VH1, the other channel that has found their niche market in stupidity in lieu of actual music, was showing another reality show, of which everyone on it was unlikable and pathetic. And I apologize if you don't know/care about who the hell these people are, I just rant and report what I see, nothing I can do about it.
I Love New York.
For those same people who have lives, I will explain who New York is. New York,(Tiffany is her real name) was a contestant on Flavor of Love both seasons, where Flavor Flav rose back into/out of carrier suicide(Depends on who you ask) and looked for love. He is both annoying, and stupid, and ultimately embarrassing himself when going on dates with girls plucked fresh like chickens out of Trailer Homes. And Tiffany is remembered for the sole purpose of being annoying bitch who was a loud mouth drama queen that you both couldn't stand and couldn't help but notice her resemblance to Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. And if you haven't seen the show, believe me, she is catty. Plus, she has more make up on then a Joan Crawford impersonator and looks like a Muppet.
So here I am, looking at these annoying women and thinking to myself, "Can you honestly look at yourself in the mirror without feeling the slightest ounce of shame? Here you are, acting like a gaudy annoyance while people are living lives they've earned. Doctors are saving lives, curing diseases, and here you are, gyrating on a pole at a Fire House, or spitting on another contestant or having an unintelligible screaming match full of beeps and hollers. Do you honestly want to be remembered as that one person who was booted off of that one show and made to look like an ass for people's entertainment? For being a has-been looking for a comeback?"
So, until this writer's strike is settled, I'll be crying in a corner, pondering the final moments of the last Pushing Daisies episode and hoping that when the hurly burly is done that I come out a better man, a man who doesn't pity himself or feel degraded in any way. But until then, I'll just have to witness such monstrous people controlling TV and wait and wonder when it'll end.
Not soon enough.

Chicken Soup for the Orphan/Musical Protégé's Soul

2007-11-21T15:21:00.000-06:00

Title: August Rush
Year: 2007
Starring: Freddie Highmore, Keri Russell, Jonathan Rhys Meyers and Robin Williams.

Ah, it is that time of year. The time where movies come out that are meant to warm our souls and our seats. It's the time where the ultimate drug is sentimental value and movies that lift your soul. And boy, does Hollywood have one of those movies for you.

With the season of films getting you pumped and ready for Christmas and Thanksgiving, Hollywood produces a whole bakers dozen of goods. Seeing as we are currently in November, it's the season for Christmas Movies and movies that will leave a sweet impression on your heartstrings. However, my personal beliefs are that if a movie that is just cinematic cheese that jerks tears and has no subtlety isn't my kind of family film. If a film just shows the cheery, utterly predictable meanderings of 2-dimensional characters, they why waste money on it? However, August Rush isn't fully what I mentioned, I saw it for free, so I can't complain about wasting money. I can say that seeing August Rush wasn't my first or second choice of movie to see at an advanced screening, (Margot at the Wedding was my first) but entering the theater, I said to myself "It's just a harmless movie, nothing more or less." And to be honest, I was right. But the only problem is that while it met my expectations, my expectations were that I could predict the movie's beginning, middle and end, which ended up happening. August Rush is the kind of movie that will do very well at the box office, not because it has a story, but because it will make you and your whole family feel good. Call me a Grinch, but I certainly didn't feel too dandy after I left the theater.

The whole premise of August Rush is basically Oliver Twist, a boy is stuck in an all boys orphanage, convinced his parents will come back for him. He escapes and meets an eccentric man with children who do his biddings and pick pockets. However, unlike Twist, our Oliver(or Evan as he is named in the movie) is gifted, for he is a musical protégé, he can master the sounds of music and their feelings and he is convinced music will bring his parents together. The film somehow conveys the idea that a one night stand with a rocker and a violinist is supposed to be an act of fate, not libido.

The positive side of our film's protagonist is that while he may be 15, Freddie Highmore still can captivate the viewer's eye, even if given sugary fluff as his material. And he isn't the only one who shows a good performance Robin Williams is good as the Wizard, our story's Fagan. The kids are also very talented, which helped keep my attention. And it was nice to watch Jonathan Rhys Meyers can go from playing an outright disturbing character with marital troubles(See him in the fantastic Match Point) to the lead singer of an Irish rock band. My only snipe is that Keri Russell(Who I love love loved in Waitress) does little to nothing for the story, she's wooden and dull, something Miss. Russell is not. But it is a shame to watch her not play up to her potential. Other then some good performances, the score is beautiful. There actually were moments where I said to myself, "This may actually be better then I expected" But frankly, that's really all I'll praise in August Rush. Which, considering other family films that almost lead to me clawing my eyes out, is good, I guess.

However, though it may have some shine to it, Rush is just too predictable. There were moments where I could accurately predict what would happen next to our characters, and where the story would end. This may be August Rush's biggest flaw, the realm of predictability.
For starters, there is no real conflict involved in this movie. Everything seems to be practically perfect for everyone involved. The cutesy clichéd story line overshadows anything that could have made August Rush a worthwhile movie. And personally, if I can predict the ending before watching the movie, it isn't always a bad movie. I knew that at the end of Breakfast at Tiffany's would end with Audrey Hepburn and George Peppard kissing while Moon River played, and yet I loved it. This was just, not that compelling, but then again, that's not what it's trying to be. It's a movie for sentimentalists, not for those who demand a feasible plot.

So, while I didn't love August Rush, while I found it sappy and not very good, I can't say I hated it. It's not a harmful movie, it won't murder me in my sleep. But it won't do anything for me. But then again, does it really need to?

Jeff Spicoli, Take some Notes

2007-11-03T10:20:00.000-05:00

Title: Requiem for a Dream
Year:2000
Starring: Ellen Burstyn, Jared Leto,
Jennifer Connelly and Marlon Wayans.

In our culture, drugs are spread all throughout the media. People write songs about drugs, books and even movies. And it seems that the majority of these works seem to glamorize or glorify drugs. In comedy, one popular genre or character is the stoner movie, or the stoner guy. The stoner guy typically seems to have nonsensical catchphrases, is a goofy lug who can't tell his nose from his elbow and usually gets involved with a bizarre situation that means that the stoner guy must drop his bong, and save the day. Think of the stoner guy as a different kind of unlikely hero.

When the stoner guy or the stoner comedy genre comes to mind, I think of many popular films that do something about their characters doing, well, nothing. Bill and Ted, Harold and Kumar, the dark comedy Trainspotting, Dude, Where's my Car?, Dazed and Confused, and of course, one of the most popular stoner guys in Comedy, Jeff Spicoli.

I say Jeff Spicoli because he made Sean Penn's carrier as well as show the funny side of doing drugs, a funny moron who stays a grade behind, orders pizza in class, and comes equip with the catchphrase "Awesome, totally Awesome!"

However, while the stoner guy and his hilarity seem to make box office gold, there are also a number of movies that depict a dark underbelly of getting high, though some of these darker movies seem to include drugs as a sub plot, or do the dumb thing and Hollywood-ize drug addiction. The protagonist gets caught up on the wrong path and gets help before they get really hurt. In the seventies, one book came out that seems to still affect young adults today. That is the "true" story, Go Ask Alice. At the time, Go Ask Alice created quite a buzz, a "real" girl's diary detailing her drug abuse. Today, we have learned that while the story may still affect readers and sell millions of copies, the anonymous narrator is about as real as Mr. Spicoli, this known fact still hasn't stopped readers getting engaged in the girl's tragic journey.

In the year 2000, talented Visionary and Independent director, Darren Aronofsky put out a bold and daring movie, Requiem for a Dream. Requiem came out not too long before the gritty crime drama, Traffic, though it was overlooked for many reasons. One being that it was to be released with an NC-17 rating, however, Aronofsky decided to release the film as Unrated as opposed to Traffic's R rating. While both were nominated for awards that year, Traffic won 4 of it's five Oscars, while Requiem only got a nomination for Ellen Burstyn's magnificent and bold performance. Traffic aside, Requiem for a Dream still is a well known and popular movie among many.

Based off the Hubert Selby Jr. novel, Requiem tells the melancholy tale of four individuals who's lives end up affected and infected by drugs. There is Sara Goldfarb(Ellen Burstyn) a mother and widow who has become a slave to her couch, watching countless hours of mindless garbage on TV, infomercials and self help programs to be exact. With her husband gone, Sara now only has Harry(Jared Leto), a troubled, yet caring Mama's Boy, and her TV. While she may constantly watch TV, it is her dream to star on TV, and as if the genie came out of a lamp, she just so happens to get her wish when a TV company calls her in her dank New York apartment to tell her that she will be a star. Seeing this as an opportunity to relive her days when she was more glamorous, Sara does her damnedest to wear the beautiful red dress, the one that reminds her of her son's graduation as well as better times. Dying her hair red and prettying her self up for her television debut, Sara finds out that along with losing her husband, she has gained some pounds. Sara feels all hope is lost, until a friends turns her on to amphetmines. She can fit into her dress, but eventually, everything, her dreams, her beauty and her life, begin to spiral out of control.

Also in the story, Sara's son, Harry is doing drugs of his own and trying to accomplish his own dreams. He and his friend, Tyrone(Marlon Wayans in a "Why doesn't he do more drama?" role) begin to sell drugs to satisfy their addictions and gain money. In the film's beginning, Harry has it all, money, a friend and girlfriend, Marion(Jennifer Connelly), but towards the end, like his dreams, his life comes crashing down on him. Tyrone is a wayward young man, a man who has spent his life trying to make his mother proud of him, like Harry. So of course he experiences a similar fate as Harry. The two go over to Florida to pick up some drugs, while Harry tries to keep the arm that has been knocked up with so much heroin. It has been injected with so much smack, it has begun to deteriorate. Because of their drug addictions, not only does Harry lose his arm, but also he and Tyrone end up in jail and alone. The most they can aspire for now is to live another day.

And finally in this toxic spider web of tragedy, Marion, so desperate to get money for drugs succumbs to prostitution and degradation, leaving the viewer with questions like, "Is this really worth fighting for? Do we really need to do such horrible things to ourselves to get what we want?" Marion's dream is to live a life, a life where she is pleased with herself and feel beautiful. Her fight to satisfy her craze mirrors today's culture and how girls are forced to do horrendous things and go unspeakable measures to feel whole and beautiful. And sometimes it seems that the bottom isn't the end of the journey.

While pondering the title for this movie, I was completely oblivious to the meaning of Requiem for a Dream and what it signified. In a eureka moment, it came to me. Requiem's title means that because of drugs, all of their hopes and dreams died. And this movie is trying to help the characters remember what they once had before submerging into a pool of inner torment and darkness. If one can think about it, they might notice how one's life begins to fade into shades of gray when under the influence, and the line that us crossed isn't always clear. To me, that is the saddest thing of all.

There is a scene towards the very end where one character is consulted by a friend. The two embrace and begin to sob into each other's arms. Such a raw and emotional moment lets the viewer realize that while everything at the moment is gone, and it may look like there's no point in turning back. We take in the fact that not only are we hurting ourselves when doing drugs, but everything else around us. Our friends, our family and our lives. And it is this moment where the character grasps the idea that they have hit rock bottom and that it is time to turn their life around while they still can. Right now, it is all they can hope for.

A bunch of Book questions

2007-10-18T15:56:00.000-05:00

I found this on one site I adore, which is Bibliolatry. And I'm going to post more things, I'm just somewhat lazy in the process of finishing things worth reviewing.
So, here it goes!

1. Hardcover or paperback, and why? Paperback. I prefer to read books that aren't extremely heavy and hard to lug. However, if it's a book I know I'll have to wait months to get at the library or in paperback, and it's an author I love I'll buy the hardback.

2. If I were to own a book shop I would call it... If I could call a bookstore anything, I would call it Paradise Lost & Found. It would be devoted to finding old manuscripts and rare copies of books as well as contemporary books signed by their authors.

3. My favorite quote from a book (mention the title) is... A line from No One Belongs Here More Then You by Miranda July(By Miranda July, No really!)
"I pressed my lips against his ear and whispered again, It’s not your fault. Perhaps this was really the only thing I had ever wanted to say to anyone, and be told."

4. The author (alive or deceased) I would love to have lunch with would be... I would love to talk with Chuck Palahniuk as well as David Sedaris(Again) and Jeffery Eugenides. All of which I've met in one way or another.

5. If I was going to a deserted island and could only bring one book, except for the SAS survival guide, it would be... A tome of David Sedaris essays. That way I'd never get tired and laugh every day while being stranded.

6. I would love someone to invent a bookish gadget that... Was able to tell which book I was in the mood for and recommend books for me.

7. The smell of an old book reminds me of... A Tale as old as time.

8. If I could be the lead character in a book (mention the title), it would be... Scout from To Kill a Mockingbird. Such a great character, plus Atticus is an amazing father/hero.

9. The most overestimated book of all times is... I think that The Mermaid Chair by Sue Monk Kidd was a very disappointing follow up to The Secret Life of Bees.

10. I hate it when a book... is left somewhere I can't find it or is treated poorly by the person I loan it to.

Miranda July, You are My favorite person. A review for: No One Belongs Here More Then You by Miranda July

2007-09-28T14:33:00.000-05:00

No One Belongs Here More Then You by Miranda July

For those who don't know one of the indie scene's biggest crushes, Miranda July is a talented woman who is able to create anything from films both full length and short, to music videos of songs by Sleater-Kinney and now July has composed a short story collection of fiction that carries her off beat, sexy and endearing voice rich with human emotions. Reading No One Belongs Here More Then You to me was a true joy, seeing as July is such a unique person. Each story is just full of amazing characters who live ordinary situations in life as well as some that are out of the ordinary. Her stories range from a woman who teaches swimming lessons in her kitchen, to an agoraphobic who befriends a young boy. In fact, the title of one story, Making Love in 2003 has inspired the title of this blog. So check out this book please. Love her or hate her, July is still one of the most unique female voices out there, so feel free to bask in her wonderment.